I guess life has it's ups and downs but lately I've been feeling Really Desperate. Like When my mom said we weren't moving to a new bigger house i felt like the entire world had just sat on my lap. it all came crashing down. i mean it's not like I'm not grateful for what we have cause its a heck lot better than what we had in NY but i feel like I'm not good enough for people like Erin, the most popular girl in the school, like shes better than me for having a rich family, a big house, more WHITE friends, better looking, and she doesn't really talk to me so i feel like shes A LOT better than me. I mean I wonder if I was white and was just like everyone else would they except me? I feel like my life is to complicated for my friends to know about but I mean I'm starting to feel like my life is too complicated for even me to know about. i wonder if my mom was if i would even be writing this down, I've wondered about a lot of things but the most intriguing must be... I wonder If I Just Started All Over.... What Would Happen? Is It possible? Can I Make It Happen? These thoughts are what keep me awake at night but what i really Really REally REAlly REALly REALLy REALLY want to know is, Why ME? Out of every other lucky family, why me? Why did they have to separate my family? Why can't we be normal, have the same fathers.. Be Happy? Why is it that we are never the ones who get lucky? Out everything we've given, when will be time to take back? Will anyone ever give back? I hope so. I really really hope so.

"I hate you. I hate hate hate double hate hate hate you. I loathe you entirely." - The Grinch. I love that movie sooooooo much. Have you ever watched a movie and felt like yelling at the screen saying, "I hate you!" ? Well I have. Happens all the time for me. This journal entry has absolutely no meaning what so ever. Ironic, huh? That the site is called song Meanings. Bored now g2g2sm.c AKA Got 2 Go 2 Song Meanings.Com, Duh! Bye see ya!