everytime i talk to you, a grin slowly crepes on my face. im sorry for what i said. im sorry for what i didnt say. but i know this will be the last thing i will say to you. i regret many things in life. but, then i realize that everything happenes for a reason. if i went back and changed everything that i have regreted, then my life wouldnt be the same. i may not have evne met you. life without you would be unbearable. once i have met, i could never going back. true, we may not feel the same, and my heart just may be talking instead of my brain, but i knoe that what im feeling is real. its reality. and some how , in some way, i have to learn to accept it. you are there. and i can feel you. maybe thats the meaning of life, finding your true friends. i have many times pondered the infamous question. many scholars have as well. when both with two different levels of intelligence have tried to figure it out, we come out with completely different answers. if life didnt end at some point due to death, then is there a meaning at all? maybe we are here to live and figure out how to relax and enjoy each other. if thats the case, we have a long ways to go. or, maybe the meaning has been hidden in the question the whole time. "what is the meaning of life?" when i think of life, i think of happieness, others interpret the death at the end, as if it will forever. dont look at the far end of the tunnel, look at whats happening right now, or you will miss it. everyone only gets on chance at it. thats all we get. i guess its what you do, and how you spend it. you always have two options in front you. to speak whats on your mind, or to be the bigger person. your choice....

well today we went back to school. i guess im really feeling like a big weigtht on my shoulders has been lifted. i also feel like a lot of drama and others that came attached are over. a lot of things are over and i dont have and ounce of regret in me. i take full responsibility of what happened. i am now trying to focus on the real important things that actually do matter and will benifite me later in my life. i need rest in my soul and im trying to find my inner peace but not in the weird way. sometimes i feel like i want to curl up and dye and the question 'why me" comes up a lot. its shamwful and im sorry for feeling sorry. i shouldn't. its shameful. and im sorry for felling sorry.:/. i need to realize that i am blessed no matter what i think or how my life can get worst. look around and find more faults in yourslef before finding it in others. im trying to look at every perspective there is. im sorry for feeling sorry....

So today there is no school cuz of the snow day!! yay!! :D i think bekkers is coming over today to sled.

so today, i had a little "chat" with miss emi. and she aperatly appologizes for going all off on me and everything. she said that she thought i was killing her chances of ever being with him again. tbh, i think that she needs to realize that she cant force love no matter how hard you try. you just cant. and instead of tearing me down, she could have taken a different initiative to make friends with me. i wanted to be the bigger person, and i feel like i was. i feel good with what i did and didnt say. i hope that i works out for the best and that everyone i happy just being frineds with everyone. I also personally believe that she is very obviouls and olny a blind man wouldnt see it. she is right in front of him and stalks him all the time whenever she gets the chance. she is trying too hard. she needs to back off. or else there isnt enough space for both of us. (only in her mind) -Livvy

i feel so completely and wonderfully happy. i really dont know why or the resting but i cant really argue. i am nor complaining for it is a good feeling. :D i love all my friends and i am very thankful for them! they light my world even brighter than the reguar everyday. we keep each other happy as well. they are mt family. XD. theyre my family... just my family... family.. :)

mkay, so today we are officailly broken up. the feeling was completely mutual and we both agreed it wasnt working. it was really dumb how we never got to hang out or anything. his excuse was "i was busy" but someone i knew i couldnt believe that. but he will be happier with the sheer devil anyways. lol i am glad that she is gone and out of my life. she won anyways. i am gone and our of his life. but i really dont care what she thinks about me fot i will still love her to the fullest of my capability. i will respect her with every inch of respect. but i am completely fine and it was am experience that i prob wont forget. indeed i will never regret for everything happens merely for a reason. i do wish some outcomes could have come different. yet, i cant change the past, only whats to come.

mkay, well today, mm.. not much happened today. still kinda shaken up about the whole "i dont like you and i would never be friends with you" honest box thing. but, i dont want to sit here a grief over something that can blow away in a few days. its not a worthy fight and should not be faught. i will continue to love her and my lord did to everyone. if he died for her, she must be worthy for somthing. she is lovely and will be on my forever and always list. no matter how mad she has/will make me. -Livvy