we've always thought from the point of view, that you and I, we were like naoms and ems. and yeah of course we relate to them a ridiculous amount... however... now even more I think of eff and fred. so much, it kind of scares me. and we know who's who. no matter how hard I'll every try, I don't think I'll be able to completely save you. and I'm sorry I won't be able to in the end, I'm really sorry.

and I mean it. I'll fight and I'll fight, for nothing but you. what I'm working for, that's for myself. everything else though, I know that in the future it's going to come down to us. if... that makes any sense. we are one of the strongest couples I know and that isn't coming from a biased opinion. but it's only because we are strong for each other. if we ever stop bring strong then we could fall apart and especially you, you are doing so fucking well. it's easy for me being strong because I'm so used to putting on a mask and despite not really caring for much in my life there is a place I want to get. and I am going to get it. after that I'm all yours. I just have to stay focused, you know. but aside from my little thoughts. today was really nice (: I enjoyed being sneaky in your room and our walk with archie. I kinda liked the rain, it was nice. oh and I love how much we love one anothers bodies, despite ourselves hating our own. it pretty much cancels each other out. it's lovely. you're lovely. we're lovely. I love you &it's almost six months baby. that's half a year. in another half we'll be up in victor which I am very excited for. try to be positive, I know it's really really hard but I believe in you.