tired and tired and tired and tired and tired and I did NO work today. WHY? because i'm a fucktard.

I miss you blogging on HERE. when you're honest and you say everything, it makes sense you know? stop. stressing. about. hair. in general... formals always sort themselves out and they're not actually that big of a deal. I had to organise getting my haircut the day before because T pulled the plug... I got it done. no biggies. so chill out. I think saturday is a little too late to see you. tomorrow or thursday is kinda vital, for us.> we need to see each other... I wish the rents weren't SO much of a fucking problem. alright I think I'm done... yep.

it makes me miss you even more, if that's actually possible. I love the book. I can get to sleep so easily now that it's beside me. I wish you were there to hold though, you fit so perfectly in my arms. and if you were we'd keep both our nightmares away. It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by I watch the clock to make my timing just right would it be okay, would it be okay if I took your breath away? I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous they get to have you for two days. I never get to have you for even one. why do they get to for two? it just saddens me. and I don't know what to do with myself now that you're away from me for another week.. or five days. gahh it's however many days too many. I think it's now fitting I go and buy all your presents now and get my formal dress. yes, I shall do that (: I love you. please please never leave me.

I feel fucking amazing. we're good again, there's nothing in our way. tomorrow is moustache monday and I am keen as it's going to be incredible. gcrom's place will be the best I do believe. as I also think that's all I'll be there for, which sucks, I know. BLAME FUCKING TENNIS :(

you're home.

but I can't stop picturing you fucking that girl, and worse, her fucking you. I'm pleading with myself, get the fuck out of my mind!! it's a bit ridiculous. all we need is that you get the fuck back from wherever it is you are so I cann; see you, kiss you, cry with you and sleep with you on monday. it's all I need, kay. hurry the fuck up, week

I'm actually not. Three days in, whatever, anything beyond four will be a completely different story though.

warning, overly corny, crappy J is coming alive and it makes me happy, happier than I've ever been before... ever... it's an amazing feeling. but it's truly unsettling as well because I know she's capable of completely ruining my life... I don't care. I mean I will care eventually... many many whatevers (insert weeks, months, years, here). at the moment all she manages to do it make me crazy by being apart and completely over the moon when we're together. is it the lesbian urge to merge? I don't think so ahhaha and neither will it actually happen. we're perfect together you see, I don't think anything's going to change that for a really long time. *page break* kay so, it's like this... /five hours before we're not going to be together hey baby *smiles,hugs,kisses,holds,refusestoletgo* /four hours before we're not going to be together *goes behind random tree and fucks* (and yeah, it was good.) /two hours before we're not going to be together *lays on rug and cuddles* /one hour before we're not going to be together *holds onto in car while asleep, praying we don't have to say goodbye, again.* then after she has left, it's like a rush of okay what am I going to do now? oh I know... I could clean my room. hmm? no. I'd rather be sexting or exchanging hot pics over tumblr. I don't won't us to end. I don't think we will end... I'd like to write this properly by the way, thank you for being incredible, for being mine, for not leaving. I love you.

today was perfect. I loved every minute of it; behind the tree, our massive cuddle session, the car ride home