however, I am ECSTATIC about the salad i'm about to devour at lunch. Y-ES!

that mid term that i was just ranting and raving about was SUPER EASY. what the hell was i talking about. shiit dude.

well exams SUCK to the 25th. I can honestly say i genuinely studied and did work son! Sometimes when I do take tests i either 1.zip through them like lightning speed, 2.Take FOREVER on them, or 3. Lolly gag because I get very very tired of them. I still don't know what i'm going to do as far as going to college or furthering my education. I feel I should but I feel I don't need. Probably the same as any other highschool senior who has no idea/s. I didn't even freaking shower this morning because i felt the need to sleep in for AWHILE. How gross is that. I mean, yeah who cares but yeah, people care. i care. But I just couldn't bring myself to wake the freak up. I wish I would have brought my book to class so i could at least read that, or my journalism book so i could at least study for the atrocious mid term i'm about to do horribly on for newpspaer class. oh well. It's not like we even do anything in that darn class anyways. My teacher, Leffdogg, just talks and talks and talks some more. I am kind of a jerk to her. ehhh you're a jerk, i know. you're a jerk, i know.

Once again, confused about the future. I seriously have no luck in deciding what i want to do after school. There are only so many options to choose from and I have no clue what the hell i should do. I want to be a lot of things. I want to do a lot of things. Something tells me i'm gonna get pregnant before i accomplish anything. JESUS fuck. it's sad that i can actually say that about myself. HAHA. then i'll be collecting foodstamps, medicaid, wic, and welfare just like all the other worthless fucks in the world who have more and more kids just to get more foodstamps. greedy sunzas' I'm not trying to complain but this world literally sucks SHITBALLLZY.

mami no me hagas eso, me que te quiero con todo el corazon. This song is stuck in mah damnnn head for real. Well anyways i'm tired, very tired. Not like the tired where you can go take a nap, well that too, but the type of tired where you don't even want to speak any terms of endearment. My best best best friend, the guy I am absolutely and undoubtedly in love with, and his girlfriend broke up. He's freaking heart broken. Shit, the bitch cheated on him with one of his friends... at my house. Did i know? Nope, not at all. She is literally psycho, I kid you not. She found it necessary to tell me I'M FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD. If you knew, if you only knew how god damn crazy she is. They claim they love each other. I claim they don't know what love is. They say they need each other. I say they just want each other. They were both virgins -- when they met. But now, now. Hence the reason they are so stuck on eachother. Come on, 5 months together and they want to be with eachother forever. HAHA what a fucking joke. OPEN your eyes and look the fuck around. That never happens. just sayin', just sayin'.

I can't even begin to try and explain to you how infuriated I am right now. I am only so submissive. After that, I can be whatever the hell I want to be. A raging bitch, a modern modest, and anything in between. On the real, today could have ended up being a brutal blood bath in my newspaper class. But I contained myself. Once a non-conformist, always a non-conformist. BE DIFFERENT people. I can't stress this enough. In my psychology class right now. Intelligence-the ability to acquire new information. Makes sense I suppose. You figure out how to do things differently to come up with different solutions that we can use in everyday life. This isn't about how much information you know. Interesting. Pigman's class is cool lately, real cool. The other day I thanked him for the class. That particular class that particular day hit my heart and soul many ways. AND THEN after that class in my English class we had a heartfelt talk. It made my whole day a whole. If ya know what I mean. Now, discussing common sense. I LOVE IT. some of us are blessed with common sense, and some of us.. not so much.. KATHRYN.. oh oh. no names here people. At the end of the day, everyone knows where they stand. I must say today has been quite the adventure. thank you, thank you. it was a BLASTY BLAST

My thoughts are lingering and my hopes are dwindling. I feel allright though. This issue of our school paper, i'm in newspaper, BLOWS. I'm not even kidding you, this paper is like swallowing asbestos. NOT GOOD. I didn't get any banging articles to write nor any sexy pictures to take. Seriously, screw my teacher. This is ultra short but more will soon come.

I'm lovin' life right now. And hopefully for awhile. I can honestly say my toast didn't get burnt this morning like every other morning. Sitting here feelin' blissful is what I've wanted for oh so long. None the less, we'll see how long this bliss will last.

The plethora of problems I am facing in my life are becoming more apparent. I'm craving some love in my life yet, i'm not sure where to find it. My high school is a slum. Not the School per se, but the people in it are slummy. It's full of bumsquads, geeksquads, and disckheads. Allright, so what if I want a mexican novio. I'm in love with the thought of being in love with a mexican. I already have been in love with a mexican and maybe I still am. Who knows what I am anymore. What about those kids we call "mixed?" ya know like white&black, mexican&white, mexican&black. Sure, it'd be nice to just have someone of decent color in my life because of how "pasty" I am. Yes, I am super white. A nice peach color, though. Money. Money is another problem. There isn't any of that in my life either. No job, no money. No parents, no money. Bill, money :) but not really. He can be awfully stingy with his dinero if ya know what i'm sayin'. At least i've got 103 to take care of me, most of the time anyways. When i'm in dier need of some lovin' there's always Michael... or Ruben. Decisions, Decisions.

I feel nice. Today, anyways. This weather will be the death of me, I can almost promise you that. The gusts of wind that have hit me in the past few days literally make my eyes feel like a pool with too much water. Something tells me that "Richard" is about to B R E A K D O W N. That's sad. He's... a good kid. But, in all actuality, I really can't stand him. Seriously, substitute teacher in newspaipah class that i can trample all over just to make my way out the door and into the entrance of all three lunches just to talk to my friends, i'm completely up for it. A "love of my life" is by far non-existent and probably won't exist for a copious amount of time, it's cool, i'm okay with that. oh yes, it's Friday and i feel fine.