you will be fine, i promise you. You couldn't hate yourself more than you already do and i'm not sorry for that. Maybe you shouldn't care so fucking much about other people. I don't want to be in your life. You ruined it for yourself and you're the one that's gonna pay. adios muchacha

so uhm, why do people find it necessary to write journals or blogs or anything on the world wide web and make it private so no body can see. i mean, isn't that the point of writing it so that people can see it on the internet? not to just let it sit there and smolder with out any eyes on it. beats me, it beats me.

so yeah i'm giving blood in like 10 minutes. i'm scared, not gonna lie. and i'm gonna bitch a little bit. ALICIA CASSELBERRY you are dumbbbbb. alyssa had her hair like that yesterday you tool.

OMG. why the fuck is alyssa warner in my senior soc. class. KILL ME NOW.

yesterday was ridiculous. I suoppose you could say i'm whining. sure, whatever. It was all because I woke up merely 15 minutes late. Mind you, in my world, 15 minutes is a long time when I get ready. Soooooo my point is I ended up looking like complete shit for the day. SWEET. Being in a bad mood all day doesn't help. Neither does being in love with someone for three fucking years and still, nothing happens. FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK. I'm so tired of waiting around but there is no way I can just give the fuck up.

i. am. unbelievably. bored. and i can't wait until dinner. Spaghetti FTW. i'm super hungry and have nothing else to write about. how impressive.

My fucking newspaper class is being ridiculous. my teacher is a fucking IDIOT. Seriously, she has no reasoning for anything I ask her. She always has to know EVERYTHING about everything. SHUT THE FUCK UP. wow, she would figure out what tori did to get kicked out of teen leadership. AND then lecture her outside in the hallway. FREAKING ugh. i'm completely agitated.

hella fly by with the fly tie on the grind gonna flow with the dro soakin head floatin unspoken wrist pumpin not frontin and doin the damn. woa. where the fuck did that come from. yo no se. however, i'm not sure what is become of me. Been acting uncouth might I say.. Today is very.. dismal. It's quite dull outside with a hint of light. Grey. No clouds in the sky that I can see with my plain eye. This weather makes me feel dreary and should make anyone. On a lighter note, I think i'm gonna go to salvation army today. I miss those kids.

wow, i spelt ultimately wrong haha. jesus.

It's crystal clear. You mean nothing more to him than the next chick he passes through the hall. Nothing more to him than a girl whom he shares a meek smile with while passing by. Nothing more to him than memories of your selfish infidelity. And nothing more to him than what once was. You deserve that, you deserve all the things you get in life babe. It's ultimitely your fault, all your fault and you blame everyone else but yourself. Yeah, i'll be nice to you. Yeah, i'll share my bomb ass advice. but no, no I won't ever treat you with the respect that you expect of me. No, you don't deserve it. However, you do have a part in his life, in his heart that will forever be there. Maybe put on the back burner. Maybe set aside for future reference. But it's there. Good and bad feelings that it leaves him with. And you, YOU are all to blame for the mess he is left to clean up.