I don't even know what to say to you anymore you're like a blurry face a person I cant even identify your name tears at my heart but your words rip at me I want to let go But I'm afraid to lose you Does this mean I still want you? This should never have happened You deserved better A girl that wanted you Who needed you I needed you But its too late for words of apology Now only pathetic meaningless pebbles you step on How can we fix this mess? a mess so irreparable...

So im having mixed emotions right now...how can you want someone whos such an ass? He really is sometimes. Cocky, straightforward..he sees right through me. And i hate how he knows what I'm thinking. On the contrary, I cant wait for new years! clean slate!! sorta.. Were not doin much. Ill prob end up going to Jake's house (girl not guy btw) she's got such an incredible house!! It makes u feel as if your somewhere else, foreign. Where i want to be. What I want for Christmas: Cant be bought with money.

First blog.Ever. So right now I feel like crap. Senior year should have came with a warning label. But I guess in some ways I was warned. (sigh) Its been a crazy hectic year. With so much love, I don't know how someone can feel so alone. Not only that, I feel like I have had to make decisions I am not ready to make. Its all really overwhelming. And there's no one I can really talk to about these things...my parents would freak. Sooo I decided...why not blog about it!! lol. Seventeen sucks.