i've created a way to make up my mind when my mind knows no way but its own and it's harder than dying and it's kinder than lying and it's better than being alone, i just remember my biggest mistakes and the ache that was born from those places and picture myself in the context of love and then measure the in-between spaces. it is no stupid thing to give ourselves up to the childlike trust in each other it is pure, it is real, to fall like ripe fruit like the baby who's torn from his mother so i've created a way to make up my mind and i'll justify falling apart there's no harm in resilience, its impractical brilliance we are learning to lighten the heart. the most perfect people have the heaviest feet and their feet are stained bitter with grass for if we keep safe the soft parts that can die and look only for structures that last the chest will split, the ribs will crack, the worms will greet our bones we'll decay in the silence of insincere violence and the fear that there's no one to own we'll stagger our sighs on willow tree thighs and the fear it's a sandcastle home it's all cleaner than dying, and smarter than lying and better than loving alone.