I don't want to be. I'm trading in my voice for a pen and my breath for some ink. I don't want to be.

I think I’m losing… I think I’ve lost my mind. I feel like a switch was flipped and I’m off the fucking deep end. My mind is going insanely fast yet I’m not thinking about anything. I’m hungry but everything has lost its taste. I’m thirsty but nothing feels hydrating. I feel exhausted yet all I do is sleep. I feel dizzy when I stand up and anxious when I sit down. Cigarettes don’t even do anything anymore. I’m fucked.

Inhale. Chance conversations. Chance connections. Great opportunities. Good friends. And in that moment, I forgot you existed. Exhale.

He fucks. He doesn't care. I hate him. I hate all that he is. He cheats. He steals. He lies. He has everything and wants more. He has love and fucks whores. I had love but no more. I now have hate and a locked door. I now have spite and an open sore. He has no guilt. I have guilt. He has no spine. Well, where the fuck is mine? He has time. She has mine. I envy him.