how can i love some one when i feel they are always resenting me? i feel my world is spiraling out of control, i'm loosing the people i love in a battle for love its self. i feel my heart breaking with every breath i take, every thought i have i cry. I wish i was strong for her....that i was like her ex's and hit everyone that got in my way. I wish i was strong and brave that i had less hate in myself and everyone that tries to help me see who i truely am.......a coward.

Secret life of love Jerked awake i sit up quickly and look around hoping no one has noticed that yet once again i had fallen asleep, to my relief they are all listening intently on the teacher who is writing a math equation down on the chalk bored. I sighed in relief and took out my folder and began scribbling. I cant get her out of my mind. I'm in love with her it has been 6 weeks and we have been dating, I'm scared to tell my friends bout our growing relation ship so i keep my secret to myself. I sit and draw hearts and her name over and over again as i look back at my hot dream bout the first time we met. It was late at night and i was stuck in detention yet once again for skipping out on my home work. I thought i was the only one in Mrs. Bakers class room when suddenly she came in. All dressed gangster the way she does that always seems to turn me to the point where i instantly jus get wett. She walks past me glancing down at my hands and smirks and turns to the history teacher. Self conscious i look down also to see me shaking a little and i shrink back blushing. "Ah nice to see you Ms Andrews.......for the 60th time." She drops her nice voice and glares at her. Michelle smirks at Mrs. Baker. "Well i come to see you...and only you. " She looks at me and winks and i flush even more and shrink back. "Have a seat Michelle." She says flatly turning away and picking up her stuff. Michelle giggles a little and walks over taking a seat in front of me. "Right." Mrs Baker says putting on her jacket and scarf. "I'm leaving you two alone, i'm trusting that you wont leave?" She says raising an eye brow at us. "Oh no ma'am! we would never dream of leaving such a wonderful place." Michelle shakes her head smiling. "Right." Mrs. Baker nods once and steps out the door shutting it leaving the two of us alone in awkward silence. She gazes out the window leaving me some time to myself to think when i heard her get up and stand at the teachers desk. I glance over and she is bending over the computer typing furiously. "oh shit yo." I hear her giggle and hear more typing. Curiously gets the best of me and i wonder over and glance over her shoulder. I smell her scent and breath in deeply wanting to bush against her. She turns and smiles. "Wanna see?" I only nod unable to talk and she giggles once more and steps aside for me to see. On the screen i see a beautiful woman and i only see her face, porcelain like i thought, fragile looking, maybe. But as my eyes look further i see her chest and gasp taking a step back bumping into Michelle. "Whoa , easy there.: I feel here touch my shoulder and i feel my face get hot. "She is so damn hot." She whispers in my ear and shudder gently. I look back at the computer screen at the naked woman and i had to agree...she was hot. "Whats wrong?" I hear her ask. "Huh?" I turn my head to see that she was just inches from my face breathing, her breath a mint flavored. "You act like you never saw porn before." She giggles and i instantly blush because the truth was that...i really never seen porn before. "I've seen porn before." Lie She raises her eye brow at me. "I have honestly!." Another lie "Uh uh...." She bites her lip, shit she can see right through me.........damn that's hot. "Just not one of les........le...." gulp and feel my throat tighten. Her grin drops and stares at me for a moment then turns and walks away. Shit, did i offend her? "Wait!" I call scrambling to move to her as she is collecting her stuff and walking to the door. "Michelle." I trip over myself and she stops short and i nearly smack into her, "What?" She says all trace of humor gone and i suddenly feel sick and sweat. "I......i......." I stumble over my words and blush more. "Whatever." She huffs and starts towards the door, I grab her arm and turn her around and she is inches from my face. We stood still staring into eachothers eyes, mine hazel and hers being blue. Before i knew it, my hands were slowly sliding up her body and my lips were suddenly on hers. She lets out a low moan as i slide my tongue along her lips n tease her mouth. She slowly pulls back and smirks. "You're a good kisser." She whispers and then she grabs my shirt and pulls me into a rough kiss. I stumble into her and wrap my arms around her body and hold her close kissing her back . I find her hands at my pants and feel her unbutton it and i feel my heart jump and my hole body tremble. "Michelle." I breathe and kiss her back and soon i dont know how but both of us were on the carpet rolling around making out. I find myself on top of her kissing and running my fingers through her hair as she reaches up and touch my face. Automatically my hips begin to rock back and forth slowly against her lower waist and a low moan escapes through my lips as she begins breathing heavily. Her hands reach up and i take my shirt off as she takes hers off , i lean down and kiss her everywhere gently and she moans. "Jocelyn." She murmers my name and i grind her body faster moaning. "MMMMM, yesssss." We are soon unclothed panting in desire and pleasure lusting for more, i go down and taste her , she tastes so sweet that i cant help but stuff my face in her further. "JOCELYN!!!! JOCIE!!!!" She crys out in ecstasy and i feel something think and warm and i knew i made her climax. "Jocelyn!" I snap out of my reminecince and look up to see my teacher glaring down at me i gulp and wave smiling. "Detention tomorrow." He says and walks away from me and i curse under my breath. Soon the bell rings and we all scurry out of the class room, I'm half way to my locker whe Michelle walks up from behind me and puts her arms around my shoulder and kisses my cheek. I blush. "I got detention tomorrow." I complain and look to see her quiet for a moment. "With who?" "Mr. Grolmen." She smirks and licks her lips at me before replying. "Me too." My heart flutters and she kisses me once more. "See ya tomorrow." She turns and walks off into the crowed. Shit................i'm sweaty again.

walking through the park on the streets of L.A you make me smile and laugh at every word that you say memories rush my head of us falling in love before it began you make my heart beat like a drum in a band baby put your hand to my heart and then maybe now you'll see you're the one i rilly want. but the people in my life tell me to stop that this feeling i have will pass my love will one day will drop but i refuse to let them win oh no , i wont pack up and give in cuz i do not love any one else you're the one i want I want a street gangsta who acts like one big bad ass every one can fear too some one whos got the flava and will follow through too I want a bad ass gangsta who dont fuck around with nuthing who knows what they want and will do anything to get it not interested in fakers i want one with real flava I want a street gansta jus want a bad ass gangsta i want one that knows how to have fun who can take a hit knows all the right slang who talks and acts like a real G from LA but around me they got to have class have their jeans hang below in a real sexy way I want a street gangsta who can rap to a beat of a song who carries a gun and knows how to shoot and can beat down a dawg if they get in my way cuz i dont want anyone else your the one my heart belongs too i jus want a gangsta and that gangsta is you

-Rebellious Callie is a 16 year old vampire who is the awakened. She is the only vampire in her clan to feed on animals and befriend humans. When one of her friends (Kevin) is turned (embraced) by one of her own clan members, Callie must save Kevin from becoming an out of control incubus and keep him from getting hunted by 5 van helsings who hunt for their fangs and blood, another group of van helsings claim to be the good guys who are trying to stop the other five hunters from killing more vampires for game and have also come to recruit their long lost leader who will one day lead them to victory. Prologue “Times running out, hurry Callie you must hurry!” The voices there were coming from nowhere were whispering to me in desperate tones. It frightened me to not know why I was running to my death but something inside me told me to do what the mysterious voices said. I ran faster across the meadows, adrenalin pulsing through me, I could feel my heart beat faster. I didn’t know how I knew it but I knew that something horrible was going to happen with or with out me there. retort Callie Chapter 16: Attack I could hear my mother’s voice inside my head, telling me to be brave, that nothing bad was going to happen. I paused at the stop sign and listened to her syrupy voice. “Remember Callie, You are the only one who can stop the death dealers.” She said to me, as a child of two dead parents I always wondered what that meant, but now I know- I have the power to stop Hunter and his clan from wiping out the whole vampire race. The light turned green and I stepped on the gas making the car jerk out of the intersection, the tires squealed burning rubber on the pavement. “Gees Cal slow down a bit!” Sage complained giving me a sharp look of disapproval that made me want to be childish and stick my tongue out at the boy. My eyes go back to the road ignoring the grunting protests of my driving. “Sorry, but we need to get to Kevin….something is wrong. Can’t you feel it?” Was my only word before I stepped on the gas again shooting off at 60 mph. within thirty seconds we were at Kevin’s eerie dark house, the light were off giving no indication that anyone was home but I felt something. Death. I threw the car into park and got out of the drivers seat running up to his porch with Sage and the rest following quickly. I didn’t bother knocking on the door but rammed it open with my shoulder and just like that the door jarred open. “Kevin?” I called from the stairs. I waited 2 minutes but still there was no answer. “Kevin??” The only thing to answer me was what sounded like furniture being dragged across the floor above us. My heart pounded with fear. I imagined a murderer upstairs dragging Kevin’s lifeless body across the floor slowly, the killer looking like Jason or Freddy Kruger but I knew that those were fictional murderers and the real monster was lurking some where in the house. Suddenly I turned bolting out of the room and sprinted up the stairway. The more I moved the more fear and panic I felt sprinting up the steps. I stopped at his door, my heart pounding like a furious drum, every breath filled with anxiety. I feared that if Hunter wanted to he would be able to hear my heart. -please let him be okay- I silently begged as I took one steady step toward his door but sages giant hands grabbed my hand stopping me from turning the knob. “Don’t.” I felt Sages cool breath on the side of my neck. “What are you doing? I smell blood so it must be his!” I snapped and tried yanking away from his grip but he was stronger then I was. “No, Callie……it’s not his blood you smell.” His eyes turned coal black and his fangs slowly came out to two sharp points. I froze, my body turning tense and finally my senses kicking in. I felt an eerie presence as if it were standing behind me breathing down my neck sending a shiver up my spine. “Then whose blood is it?” My lips quivered. Sages hand squeezed my shoulder lightly and then moved me to the side. He turned facing me “Callie I want you to stay here. No matter what happens if something were to go wrong I want you to run like hell out the door and to your car.” I looked up to see his eyes have gone back to hazel and he put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. “I want you to get out of Pennsylvania and go to Maryland in the northern part, there’s a little town called Haven…..go there, that’s where our covens residing at and tell them that the dark ones are striking.” He whispered quickly to me. I nodded understanding what he meant. “The gold ones have failed in their conspire to kill the dark ones”. “Okay Sage, I promise I’ll leave if something goes wrong.” He cracked a small smile and caressed my face. “Good girl.” The look in his eyes was both a mixture of longing and fear. Longing to be with me and fear of loosing me and I could tell by the way he looked he could sense the same thing off of me. Inching our heads slowly together our lips touched with gentleness that both fed and burned the desires to wanting each other. Slowly he broke off our kiss and looked into my green eyes and smiled. “Thank you.” He turned abruptly. “Okay let’s go.” His friends were all smirking at us but the look of anger in his expression snapped them back and they all nodded and turned serious. Sage turned to me cupping my chin with his thumb and index finger. “Go down stairs and lock your self in the basement Callie.” he then turned and signaled them to follow. May stood infront of me and stared. Tears threatened her, I could tell that she still loved me and still cared. My heart still throbbed for her because deep down inside I knew that I still loved her jus the same but the other part of me had to let go. “May” I said her name softly, but she shook her head. “I get it, you’re over me.” With that she turned and followed Sage as he was barking quite instructions. On the other side of the door it was shrilly quite, not a noise of struggle or breath was heard. “Come and play.” Hunters’ voice was hoarse and taunting hissing out the words. With out hesitating Sage kicked open the door and all of them charged in the room and that when all hell of the battle broke loose. A agonizing scream came from the room, my heart Jarred as I acknowledged the scream as May’s. My protective instincts over her kicked in and I charged the battle scene. The bloody war was a blur to me; all I could think about was getting to May and getting the hell out of this death house. Ignoring Sages screaming at me to get out as he slices a lycans head clean off. I rushed over to May where she lies sitting up against the bloody wall holding her stomach. “Callie!” I peered down to see a dagger pierced in her, she was bleeding badly. She reached down and jerked the dagger out of her and blood squirted on my face just as I kneeled down infront of her. My sense went wild knowing that other vampire’s blood is just as desiring as a human, fighting the urge to taste her I picked her up in my arms and looked for the closest escape route. “Callie!” Sage was by the front door fighting off a lycan, His sword swung around and pierced the creatures neck. Instantly the thing fell to the ground twitching. As I drew near the door a wolf like thing jumped in front of me and let out a deafening roar as bloody saliva sprayed us. I caught his sent…his blood that drove my sense even more wild. My fangs ached to bite this thing, my body tensed with hunger and death. “Get away.” I hissed ferociously at the lycan. The thing answered with another noisy roar and swung his arm sending May and I flying across the room crashing into the wall. We crash landed roughly to the floor I suddenly sprang up from my spot and landed on my feet facing off with the lycan. I growled back at him and leaped at him grabbing his furry disgusting neck and tightened my grip on him letting my nails dig grotesquely into his skin. He howled in pain as I threw him against the wall and let him fall to the floor. I fought the urge to go over to him and drain his very life but instead rushed over to May and picked her up and ran out the door to my car. I gently placed her in the back seat. Her eyes were sad and pained. “I’m so sorry May...” I cried and shut the door going to the other side of the car and opening the driver side. I put the keys in the ignition I sat back into my seat angered but pushed it aside when I saw May loosing consciousness. “May stay with me!” I begged and she slowly opened her eyes and forced a smile “I’m still with ya girly.” She said lightly, I smiled slightly thinking that maybe she will pull through as I threw the car in drive and drove off in silence. I was driving for two hours making small talk with May making sure that she was still awake, her voice was weak and barely above a whisper I felt my stomach get nauseated as I smelt fresh blood, I forced my eyes on the rearview mirror to see May puking up blood in the back so I quickly pull over to the side of the road and threw open the doors. I grabbed May and lugged her out as she was still coughing and puking the blood out. “May.” I couldn’t believe it…my friend was dying on me. I tugged her on the other side of the car into the woods and placed her down on the ground. “May, don’t do this.” I sobbed hugging her despite she was soaked in blood. “Callie.” She said my name in weakened breaths. “I’m sorry I failed you but I tried to protect you.” It broke my heart that she was talking this way. “No May.” My voice broke. “You didn’t fail anyone.” I pushed her bloodied hair out of her face and caressed her cheek for I knew that anytime she would be leaving me behind. “How...how are you dying?” I asked, my throat tightening. ““The knife…it was laced with silver acid.” I took her hand and held it as she went on. “Silver doesn’t only kill werewolves and lycans….it can also kill vampires like us.” The blood trickled out of her eyes and made it look like as if she were crying blood. “It’s flowing through my veins right now as we speak, stopping my heart, Callie.” She cried. “I can’t even see anymore, I’m getting numb -I can’t even feel you or the cold the only thing I feel right now is the pain…the acid.” She looks up at me and touched my face. “I love you Callie…I always have. G…go to Sage Callie, he makes you happy…go to him” She caught her last breath before she went limp in my arms. “Callie.” I sobbed bending over her tightening my hug on her. She was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring her back. For the wrest of the night I sat alone in the forest howling and weeping for my best friend…my love. When I looked up to the night, a single red tear drop rolled down my cheek. “Good bye May.”