its already 2010, a new decade. i havent wrote in this journal for a long time. i have found out life is a bitch, but i think i can cope with that. middle school sucks, and i hope high school better. i have been real sad lately too, thinking about life and death. i find myself crying over my cousin, who btw died last year. i feel confused right now.

so im liking crushing on three guys right now. two i have already mentioned on here. but omgeeeeee, im so flirty right now. by the way to the people who dont know me, im not a slut. i havent even had sex yet, im not quite ready yet. but um yeah. im so happy and in love. anyways enough for now.

i have been at my school for a week and two days. shit is crazy there but i love it. the group of girls who are supposed to be trouble are really nice. so thats cool, but im not buddy-buddy with them. i dont need any crazy shit. the school i go to isnt the greatest but i like that, im just waiting for high school. its nice to see some old faces that i love, no homo. and yes, i have a new crush. he is a guy i have known since like first grade but he has grown up a lot. he is so adorable. i think about him all the time. im happy there:)

so anyways, i met up with some of my friends today. and this guy i LUV was there. hes so CUTE. i want him so badly. only problem is that the first day we met, i really pissed HIM off. omgeeeeeeeee, right? he pretty much hates me. but i am totally FALLING for HIM. i dont know what to do. im so CONFUSED. what do you do when you are totally CRUSHING on a guy and he HATES your GUTS? if he wasnt so ADORABLE, i might not care. but he is just so AWESOME! if only he could see im not that BAD. but whatever. im going to a new school after this WEEK. so maybe i will FIND a NEW guy. i HOPE. because i dont want to HOLD on to HIM. but im afraid i might still WANT him. but i have to take ONE STEP at a TIME.

i have had the best week, i finally get to leave the school i hate and got to see some of my fav bands in concert on tuesday. i get to see all my old friends. i thought for a little bit, what if they want nothing to do with me anymore? so i thought, fuck that, i have my BEST friend there, she will never abandon me. plus if i have one good friend, i will be happy. maybe i wont dread school so much.