i just read an article about how the kenyan government want to build the biggest port in east africa on lamu island. my family is orginally from india but, my parents and grandparents were born in kenya, and i always wished i was too. in the summer of 2008, my parents, sister and i visited kenya for a week. it was truly the most beautiful experience of my life. and i expect it will be for some time. we toured nairobi, mombasa, took a safari in the great masai mara reserve, relaxed at a malindi beach, and last, but not least, we spent a few days on lamu island. it was the most serene environment you could possibly imagine. the narrow alleys, the lack of exhaust fumes, even the donkeys, it was pure bliss. this is the WORST idea i have ever heard! not only will they be destroying people lives, they'll be completely disturbing the amazing world heritage site. i'm going to try to find something i can do about it. if i can.

i know what my problem is. i can't write about my problems. like, ever. i can tell you what's wrong, no problem. but when it comes to having to write them down, i can't! and it's not that i'm a bad writer. i love english, one of my favourite subjects. i'm really good at it too. that's why i've never been able to keep a diary. or write properly about my day here in this journal. i write all these things, but it's not what's actually bothering me.

it was perfect. every single thing. was perfect. why do you have to mess it up? why. why. why. (how repetitive am i?) so we were all friends. but why are you avoiding us now? did we do something wrong? whatever.

omfg. today, when i was walking home from school. these construction workers on the roof of a building. started yelling at me. *whistle* "how old are you?" "looking fine, babe" i mean really? what kind of stupidity is that? can you find someone your own age to wolf-whistle to? not going to lie. i kind of got scared. yes. even though they were on the roof of a building. so i called my friend who lived a few houses down. and he set them straight. that was funny.

up all night. thinking about him. and what to say. friends said he really likes me. and they meant really. if i could have anything. i would make myself love him too. but i don't. i wish i did. but i don't. i cried all night. for him. for me. i want to still be friends. the way it was. i hope we will be.

it's 11:38. pm. in case you're wondering.

okay well, today is one of my best friend's birthday. so... happy birthday! the weird thing is i met him only a month ago. at the beginning of october. but we're now such close friends. and i can't imagine life without him. it's crazy. i'm closer to him than some of the people that i went to elementary school with. here's where it gets awkward. a friend, well, a classmate of mine from elementary school went out with him for about a week. she broke up with him on tuesday 3 days before his birthday. and she refused to sign the card. and i feel like i'm betraying her. by still talking to him. i've known her for a few years now, but i'm closer to him in the few weeks that i've known him. either way... happy birthday.

okay, well. obviously, my first journal entry was about nothing. literally. so, i will make this one about something. i consider myself something. so i'll write about me. i hate people who stereotype. trust me. i've gotten it all. indie. punk. alternative. emo. nerd. it doesn't bother me when someone tries to classify me. what bothers me is that they want to classify me as only one thing. i'm more than your typical stereotype. i'm more than one thing. i'm me.

a long time. a really long time. i thought for a really really long time about what to write. really, i did. but then i thought: "can't i just write?" & i mean that. just, write. (or type, technically) so that's what i'm going to do. write