Sitting here, waiting for Tay to get to town, being sad and procrastinating and just blah because I do still feel things, I don't know what for you and I want to see you but I don't want to contact you and oh fuck I wish we'd never ended. I miss you.

what the fuck am i doing? flirting with a 17 year old.. boy... who lives in america who i am in no way attracted to? is sleep deprivation a new form of self destrcution fuckitty fuck fuck fuck i am just wasting so much time. so much fucking time. GAHHHHH.