Courtneymasqurademassacre's Journal

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  • Unstable

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on July 03, 2010
    Looking into the mirror, i swear this will never happen again My vision is unclear telling myself that I know ill never reach the Heights you are at the Ground i stand on is shaking and leaving me to the ground the night fills the air on the floor i see you coming theres something wrong with this now Takes hold of me nothings ever what it use to be Temporary ill never see the heights your at I Just wish that i could turn from this i need your help to concour this fear thats taking over my mind. the Story is ending its not ending well until i bring myself up unstable grounds are shaken with my terrified eyes you wonder where i have been i tell you dont worry i hear you saw im becoming so unstable. risking every ounce of life breathing starts to contract i cant find my path anymore avoiding the pain that sinks down inside of me the pressure is leading to danger i know im so unstable dont tell me that again i refuse everything that you tell me about it i know im lying but you can see it tell me that im Unstable and ill learn from it . telling myself it wont happen again looking through the mirror with its lies im breaking the Mirror ive learned from this Im turning everything around from this Dont think that i could never be found because ive just found myself again Im reaching the heights that you are at.
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  • Stranger

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on July 03, 2010
    Living in this moment The night fills with silence walking among the streets Mysterious thoughts fill my mind Stranger standing there in the dark staring into my eyes How did i come to know him ? Stranger with a hidden black heart marked with no feeling left Should i keep going to find something that's placed with insecurity or trust Standing there like a reflection to him Stranger seems so peaceful with a monster inside Stranger i don't understand Stranger wonders what it is like to steal stranger please have mercy Whisper so fiercely you will not survive Violette wrists,Taken by the shadows hidden from the light Hope So Lost without you My Nightmare is my Reality coming closer to survive His Eyes Follow with rage Night falls,all is lost on this road screams and Night fears fill the mind of a broken soul Stranger let me go before you drowned in shame tonight Covered in makeup the silence of a lost voice One will be heard again Stranger love doesn't come from destruction this Heart will break for your willing power Monster i see inside leave me alone Daylight destroys you i escape.
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  • High Heels, Lip gloss, Glamourous

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on July 03, 2010
    Here i am the party is starting now that i have checked my hair i can move on The Dance floor is full i find my way through the crowd meeting your eyes now we go to the back,i swear was starstruck or your a really good actor take off the High heels were alone (going to bed.goodnight this will be finsihed :)
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  • Tied in Nightmares

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on July 03, 2010
    Your deceived by the dreams That were once oblivious dear Sinking deeper in this Nightmare Its a matter of The pace Of Time So Tied Up, you cant hear your own thoughts its not Taking hold of your mind anymore Its pulling you in the wrong direction So Now you'll see That not everything is what it seems to be Learning from that Mistake you took for sin Waking from this now can you wake from this now ? its like a ocean covered in lies that you have overflowed yourself in this time Now that Time is passing by,it was then i Believed in you they just make a monster out of you your Becoming and Empty Dream that i chase to quickly But your dream becomes the Nightmare Your Chasing the Day ,Your Following the Story The Sky Night Turns to Day Light Setting Free From everything that was from the past Rising,The Nightmare is Dissolving Any Minute it could collapse Like our body's It all Falls Into Place . Reality isn't Placed in your Dreams anymore darling what could happen if you keep going on ? Who Would you become at the end its Running through Your Blood so Distant from me dear I use to Be All That you Bleed Once was Your Wildest Dreams Becoming so much more into a Nightmare Tied into a lie. Its Disturbing your Sleep id be lying if i said that you were alright But This Time has Come that Your Lies have caught up with you .
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  • Dark Romance

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on July 03, 2010
    Weve Come this far Weve come so far What has to become of this? I'm Trapt in these walls that is sealed The Silence Screams the truth now ill never find my way from this darkness Romance fills this room like a hundred roses i swear you were the cure baby i cant find my way,letting go is the last thing Corsets and the Silhouettes Fade Im Struggling to breathe,Its so hard to breathe This Romance is so dark that it takes ahold of my dreams ahold of my mind Everything isnt what it seems,i know im afraid of no matter how i try i cant forget your face Look through my eyes your apart of me Darling my dreams will not rest tonight Waiting for the moment without it being Oblivious Your the weakness thats inside of me The Melody is the Sympathy to this Alibi Turn around and Realize that this Dark Romance is taking over taking its Control Listening to the Sound of sirens dear something is tellilng me that i should forget but i always come back when is the end near? Break it in half and keep the pieces to recover from this Darling second time around we regret our sinning When Our sinning is no where near to the Cure that attempt to Find Breathe in deeply now because the end you wont be able to
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  • Mask

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on June 28, 2010
    Counting every mask that youve put on listen to every betrail that has lead you to the wrong diretion i see every hidden mask that youve kept from me Ill pull you away from these dark roads and bring you on the right trail so you can come back to me Now throw the Masks away and show your true face again Ive been longing to see it for so long Dont fall for it again i swear theyll take you away from the distance that i cant reach sweet surrender i swear,i swear i wont let that happen Your Mask is Showing Dont go there.Dont let them have you Its like a murder scene when its all over trying to stop you you seem to never learn From every lie they tell you Stop trying so hard you wont make it to be approved by them I saw the flames Your truely learning now i see your face its not a mask anymore your turning from every betrail that you have learned your Listening to your heart now Turning back me Ill be here waiting This Murder scene is being cleaned up I believed in you without a doubt. The Mask that you once had has been buried in the past No Longer to look back at it
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  • Standby

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on June 24, 2010
    My turn is to be heard is silent its been so long since ive reached above When was the last time that i took the time to listen? where was I when you needed me most? My path is unstable, & i dont know where to hide When i try to hide my guilt I dig my own grave Ill bury myself six feet under the heavens above Dear, I cant hear You anymore Once you've told me that "Sleep is just a cousin of death" I am afraid of sleep but not death its self & Ive been trying to escape this running through time that isn't moving Look around and Ill hold clocks that don't tick anymore Speak To me so i can reach for the Heavens Prayer, I hope that your listening I want to believe that Your Listening to my words Its been so long, Ive been counting the days that ive been alone Ive broken frames from memories that decay in me I want to trust in You Take my hand, because im about to fall to the past Tell me that your a melody to Keep me faithful to you Take my hand I need You now, its getting harder to live Ill say goodbye to the things that made me deaf & your Word speaks to me, You speak Through me
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  • Captain Take Charge!

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on June 24, 2010
    Lets Set our Course Before We Set Sail Say Your Prayer for Salvation because I can only Hope to come home when secrets keep us away from shore Dont you Taste the salt? it Brushes against our ship Let the Air be Fresh, Let it be easy to breath (to keep our hearts pure) Let it clear the guilt that we keep in our hearts. We'll sail the sea like its meant to be We'll come home with golden hearts Our journey to the seven seas will repay in redemption when will we decide where our loyalties lay? while we write pages to the ones that we need to forgive to forgive ourselves Hear the Roar of cannons fire & Navigate us to our victory so we return, return where were from, to home we belong (we belong to you) The air is thick with ash and smoke I think were going under like an anchor Throw Your hands towards the sky(sky) You always know when were about to drown, when were about to sin k (sink) I believe we can only ask you to take charge of this ship that were about to sink So Ill Pray Once more.
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  • Monday is Useless

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on June 24, 2010
    Before our Goodbyes Before we take the long way home Will you Listen? Will you stop in your tracks? Why cant you understand? That my Three Letter Words Arnt Meant to be wasted If your leaving with no reason Then theres No Reason to convince Just to let you know youll be back When no one will take your hand through the pain Beautiful in its words, i wont regret As my days go on so doesn't my heart beat. you let me go, so will i but did you actually let me go ? you threw it all away again what the point of going back ? Take The long way home to think of me and why you left I wont dwell, I wont Run like you I am Moving on.. Where was your heart before this ? If your heart wasn't so cold maybe I'd do this all over again.
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  • My Best Wishes

    by Courtneymasqurademassacre on June 24, 2010
    So Hold me Tight All through the night So Take my Hand and I hope you understand (Hope you understand) If you cant pull me through this one Im Hoping and wishing that everythings perfect its 10:55 am. The Stars are in focus The Clouds are in motion and Im ready to begin When will you see that i am ready? will you find me in the dark within the shadows that ive been living in or will you bury me underground and wont make a sound my funeral is full of people that i dont care about So if youll take my hand try not to cry if you can and i hope you understand (hope you understand) (& I Hope You Understand) Something.....?
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