Well my Aunt & Uncle, etc, left yesterday around 3:30pm. We didn't end up going to the zoo because of all the crazy ass snow. Instead we ended up going out for lunch. I didn't miss much at school; everyone told me that some guy just came in and talked to the school about using ecstasy and how it's bad; yada yada yada. Last night Dani & me got in a major fight with Max. One thing that really pissed me off was that she said the only reason we hate Ryan is because she spends more time with him & she said were jealous of him. Dani & me are NOT jealous of Ryan. He's just a giant douchebag; over the summer he called Max a slut/whore & a bitch multiple times, plus he flirts with other girls & Max doesn't seem to care! Plus he speaks bad about Dani (and possibly me) and I just can't stand that! Max also said that we were bad friends because we couldn't do the SMALL thing of becoming friends with Ryan just for her. Finally Dani said she was done with Max unless Max apologized. Anyway, today Dani & me didn't talk to Max at all until lunch. We had decided that we needed to talk to Max because we still wanted to be friends with her. We apologized (and Max didn't!) and to make Max happy we said we would try & be nice to Ryan. (which I don't plan to do and I know Dani won't do, I just said it to make her happy). Well Dani and me talked afterwords and we decided to be friends with Max because we still love her and would miss her; but we just don't trust her anymore and I think she's no longer a best friend... Anyway that was just a quick update for you all before I lay down in my bed & TRY to sleep! I should probably mention that I'm still not sleeping well. Anyway, Goodnight xxx

Hmm. So my family arrived at 8ish like I predicted. Today I think we are just going shopping, plus my mother really wanted to go to Toys R Us to buy some things for Jackson. Then my mother, Jody, Aunty & Uncle are going to a 'The Killers' concert. I'm going to be babysitting four kids while they are gone: my brother Jackson and my three little cousins.Then on Monday I'm going to miss school to go to the zoo with my family. I'm super excited because next Friday Dani & me are going shopping. I'm excited because I'm going to buy myself two amazing pairs of sunglasses! I'm going to get Ray Bans, The Wayfarers. If you want to look at them their code is RB 2140. I'm going to get one pair in black and the other in red! I'm just so excited to get them that I can barely wait for Friday to come! YAY! Last night I managed to sleep around 2-3 hours. I woke up officially at 4am, so I just laid in my bed until 8am. I had to stay in my bed because my little cousin was sleeping in my bed with me, so if I moved I probably would have woken her up. So it was a very boring night for me! I should probably go though because I'm supposed to be spending time with the family. I'll update later on how my day went! Goodbye.

So today is Saturday. I'm not allowed out to hang out with any of my friends because my Aunt & her Kids and husband are coming to visit from today till Monday. They will be arriving at around 8 at night(I think), so it's sort of stupid that I'm not allowed out right now. Instead I have to clean a ton. Max came to school on Thursday, she acted as if the fight had never happened. She got both Dani and me a gift, they were like crappy little miniature wooden fish that you put on the hood of your car. She got Ryan a bracelet (who gets their boyfriend a bracelet?!) and some expensive shirt. So then Dani & me definatley felt cheaped out on! Anyway Thursday the entire day Max acted like as if it were old times. Friday we had a half day at school so then afterwards I went out for lunch with Dani, Trevor (Dani's Boyfriend), Emma, Sheldon, & Brandon. I truthfully don't like Brandon, he used to be a close part of our group (Dani, Jay,Trevor, & me) when we were younger, but then he just became a douche & now none of us like him; he only came along because we invited Sheldon. We went to A&W so I just had a salad & some fries. Basically because if I ate a burger I know I would want to throw up, I have a weak stomach as is & any greesy food makes me feel incredibly sick. Actually most meats make me feel sick, so I avoid eating meat at all costs & only eat it when necessary. After eating lunch & hanging out for a while I had to go home to babysit Jackson, and then of course I had another night filled with NO sleep, well actually I got about an hour or so. So now here I am, bored and writing on my blog, I'm supposed to be cleaning so I should probably go. Goodbye :)

Max didn't come to school today, apparently because she got home from Mexico really late. So I avoided any awkwardness today. I texted a bit throughout the day & I brought up how she didn't seem to care about how Ryan would say bad things about Dani and me, she said that she has gotten angry at him before but I doubt it... Max stopped texting me when I brought up how Ryan doesn't fit in with Dani & mine's specific group of friends. I don't know if she just didn't get the message or if that pissed her off or what. Also today it snowed and it was so cold! I find it stupid that its snowing in April, grrr! But I walked to school in flats so by the time I arrived my feet were freezing cold & soaking wet! I think tomorrow I'll wear boots to protect my feet! Anyway not much really happened today so I'm just gonna stop writing here.

Ok then. So then Max came back from Mexico today, but didn't come to school. She'll be coming to school tomorow though and I'm sort of worried. I'm not sure how I should act around her, if I should be angry or what. I've been so worried about it that I almost considered throwing up today, but I didn't. Which is a total surprise to me because I've been feeling nauesous today, so then it would have been easier then normal. I'm actually quote proud of myself that I resisted! I did a bit of thinking today though. I was in the lab today working on some circuit crap with my table and Max's boyfriend (Ryan) is in my table group. Anyway I was talking to someone and then all of a sudden I heard Ryan mumble Dani's name, so I turned to him and asked him what he said & he told me that he had said that "Dani was annoying". So I snapped at him and told him to never speak down on Dani in front of me, he said he would just do it later then but I chose to not pick a fight with him. The fact that he even said that in front of me pissed me off extremely. He's said stuff about Dani in front of me in the past and I always yell at him, I'll mention it to Max but she never really cares. Anyway when that happened I thought back to a time when one of Max's good friends said some mean things about Ryan 'behind her back' and Max got really upset and stopped being friends with her. The second anyone says something bad about Ryan, Max like officially hates them. But the idea that Ryan will say something bad about her two best friends (because I bet he says crap about me too.) and she could really care less makes me really wonder how much she actually cares... She's basically alienated everyone from her life, and it's all because of him. That was what mainly pissed me off today, tomorrow I plan to ask Max -if I get a chance- about that whole thing I thought up today.

Ok then. So it's about 12:24am. I can't sleep and I'm not exactly in the mood for trying. Umm, so I'll write about what's happened since I last updated (Saturday, April 17th, on my old account) On Sunday I was with Dani all day. Her and me just hung out and we worked on this really important assignment for our science class. We have to make a few circuits. Well so far we've made a circuit for a door opening and a pressure pad... You probably don't want to hear about any of that though. Today I went to school, we're starting track in gym and there will be a track meet in a month or so; but I don't know what I should try out for. I'm think hurdles, maybe? Umm anyway today was pretty casual, during lunch today, Dani and me played basketball with the guys, it was quite fun! Haha, and then basically I came home and I had to babysit my younger brother -Jackson- because my mother went to work when I got home and Jody (my step-dad, if I didn't mention his name before) works most of the day. Max will be coming back from Mexico this Wednesday. I'm not sure if it will be awkward or anything like that because of the fight and all, I just hope everything goes well! So basically the past two days have been pretty uneventful, sorry if I bored you.

Kai, its currently about 4/5am. The only reason I'm up now is because for about the past month I haven't been able to sleep at night. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I can't seem to get more than two hours of sleep! It might be another reason that I've been stressed lately. I seriously don't know why I can't sleep! The whole not sleeping thing doesn't affect me during the day as much as you'd think it would. I'm usually not tired during the day, so I'm still a straight A student. But I would never let myself not be a straight A student, I'm to much of a perfectionist. Anyway not sleeping might be some weird symptom I have. For the past 2 months or so I've been going to the doctor a ton to try and figure out what's wrong with me. Symptoms. 1. I normally sleep less than two hours at night. Surprisingly enough I don't have bags under my eyes... I'm seriously considering that I might be nocturnal, if that's possible. I don't ever sleep during the day though... 2.I'm always cold. It's not me that feels cold, like I might be sweating and complaining about how hot it is, but if someone touches me they'll freak out and complain about how cold I am. 3.I'm pale white. I've always been a white kid, but I was never as white as I am now, before I could at least tan a bit, but that seems impossible now. But lately I've just been getting whiter and whiter, and now I'm like pale white! 4.Lately I've been getting nauseous really easily, which is not good for someone who used to be bulimic... 5.I get a lot of pains. Like stomach pains etc. Eating always tends to hurt, which makes me not like eating. 6. Umm. I can't really think of all the crap symptoms right now, I've got a list somewhere but if I go looking for it my mother might get angry... If you've got any idea to whatever my issue is go ahead and try and tell me, I'd love to know! I've been going to the doctor a ton & I just got a shit load of blood work done last Thursday, so hopefully I find out what's wrong with me! ... and just a little note to anyone who may reply to this, please, PLEASE, do not say I'm a twilight vampire. My friends sometimes say that and it really pisses me off. I don't sparkle in the sunlight, so don't ask if I do (like my friends do...) Seriously it pisses me off! Some of the twilight obsessed people I know say they're jealous of me, but don't be because this is all stressful as hell for me! Anyway I should probably stop writing, I'll update you all on another day!

Ok then. This is sort of new to me, but I came along the whole journal thing just by doing some random clicking. Anyway I thought I would try the journal that way I can just let out anything that's bothering me, because I've been sort of stressed lately. I suppose I should tell you guys a bit about me. I have 5 siblings, except I only live with one of them. The reason I have 5 siblings is because my father is sort of a whore and has 5 kids with 4 different woman. First theres my older sister Ariel who's 17, then theres me who's 16, then my younger sister Charlotte who's around 6, then my younger brother Eithen who's a bit older than two, and my youngest sister Sophie who's about 8 or so months. I live with my younger brother Jackson who's 2 years old, I live with him because he's my mothers son. He's only my half brother though because his father is my step dad. Umm. I'm 5'5 and 125 pounds (with size C/D 32 boobs), I have deep green eye's and my hair colour is brown, with a mixture of red & golden colours from the sun. I'm extremely White, I'm not exactly sure why I'm so White though. It doesn't matter how much I try and tan I somehow only seem to get whiter. Anyway I hope that paints some sort of a mental picture in your head about me... Umm. I suppose I should fill you in on a bit of my life issues. About a year and a half ago I became bulimic, but I'm not anymore don't worry. Every once in a while I'll screw up and go back to my old habits, but it's only when I've just gone through something really bad or stressful. The only reason I became and stayed bulimic was to help me deal with my issues and stress. I seriously don't know how it does it, but it calms me down whenever I have like a panic attack or something along those lines. Anyway I stopped forcing myself to throw up about 4 months ago, but every once in a while I screw up and all my progress goes down the drain. I forced myself to throw up during school yesterday & I sort of hate myself because of it, I went an entire month without throwing up and I just ruined it all yesterday. One of the reasons I did it was because I was upset with one of my close friends. Me and my two best friends (Maxi & Dani) have stuck together for about 5 years now, and well one of my friends just doesn't seem to care anymore about Dani & me anymore. All she cares about is being with her boyfriend 24/7. She almost missed my birthday and Dani's birthday because she wanted to just hang out with him, but the only reason she came was because we had both guilt tripped her. Truthfully I blame him for all this. If it wasn't for him Max would still be staying strong with us. I'm just extremely thankful I have Dani, I now know that she's my true best friend. Anyway Dani & me got in a fight with Max the night before Max went off to vacation in Mexico, so that's what sort of triggered my forcing myself to vomit. One thing I might want to add is that NO ONE knows about my bulimic behaviours. Not even Dani or my mother. I want to tell Dani so badly but I just don't know how... I think I've written a bit much, so I'll probably just write another day

Ok then. So I got signed out of my old account BreakfastatAlis & now for some reason I can't sign back in so I created this one... I'm truthfully sort of pissed that I can't get back on it since I had some journals, but I'll repost them on here!