in waves and waves, my feelings change, my heart and soul remains the same, what am i to do? why does my mind make me feel this? why do i suffer through? why can I not make a decision? why can't i face the truth? why can't i just say what i feel? why does the world expect me to be the one to heal? the one to heal all of your problems. I listen to you but no one listens to me. I'm drowning in misery

so i told myself i wouldnt clutter this with pointless angry relentless ramblings, i made a deal that i would only post positives and only post my poetry, the thing that keeps me breathing, i dont have a partner anymore there is no one to for lack of a better description confuse the fuck outta me. yet still im getting pulled from every side being forced to be and do things that are not my natural way, can society just leave me the fuck alone? i like being able to help i really do but sometimes i just dont want to hear the shit from people, im an empath i feel down when i see toher ppl down and as such i try adn help them, but when you of all people of all the pople in my life just fucking crack the shits at me because i dont want to listen just once because i just want 1 fucking nite to myself you fucking rip out my heart and shit on it. fuck i dont want to post this but if i dont i think im gonna do something drastic

so im alive after formal just, im in a lot of pain my entire body fair hurts. i dont remember most of the after party but the formal was fair kool, shit as music but other than that ok. after party 3 cases between a few of us later and here i am, well was sunday i couldnt move at all i felt like shit, barely ate slept so long everything hurt, defs worth it =D and now its monday and im still in pain cant walk, cant move my head a lot. and i fucking hate my parents >< fuckers think they can make me do watever they want they cna get fucked im almost 18 i dont give a shit its my life back the fuck outta it