"What did become Of my heart when I first saw thee? I brought a heart into the room, But from the room I carried none with me."

I need help... PLEASE help me... I AM SO FAT AND I HATE BEING IN MY OWN BODY SO MUCH THAT I CANNOT LIVE WITH MYSELF. And YES, I KNOW THAT THIS IS AN EATING DISORDER. I'm not a MORON. And NO, I do NOT want to be cured. The only CURE for me is to be skinny again, like I used to be! At least I was a SKINNY anorexic back then. What am I now? A fat anorexic? Can you IMAGINE being anything more horrific??? Oh my God, oh God, God, I can't face people like this anymore... I don't know what to do... I can't lose weight, not at all, not with exercising and eating right or anything so no one knows, and they all think I'm fat, too, and say so without even suspecting what it does to me inside... IT MAKES ME WANT TO DIE. I can't even look at people anymore. The first thing I ever see is the fat and I am so damn sick of it. I am sick to death and I don't even have anything to SHOW for it.