No. no no NO. You only want to take Musical Theatre because I'm in it, not because you're good at it or you enjoy it at all, but you want ALL THE SAME CLASSES AS ME. I'm taking these classes because I KNOW what to do with myself after grad, not because of what my friends are taking! Get a clue! We don't need to be together 24/7! And you can't sing and you can't act. At all. Graaaghghgddjnl.

I fucked up. Bad.

FUNNY CONVERSATIONS. Yesterday, about Twilight NJ: ..and the werewolves aren't even werewolves, they're like, shapeshifters... they could be a werewolf OR, say, a tree... imagine what it would be like to be a tree, I mean, if I were a tree, I wouldn't be a tree, I'd be a werewolf. CC: ...what? Today CC: [NotJuice], who's better, Bob Marley or Jimi Hendrix? NJ: Oh my god do not make me choose. CC: *laughing* Okay, who smoked more weed? NJ&CZ: *at the same time* BOB MARLEY. One time in Spanish CZ: You know what, you can have this chair [NJ], I can kneel. NJ: Ohmigawd [CZ], if I were a lesbian I'd love you. CC: ... NJ: Yeah, I went there.

So I'm wandering the hallway looking for locker number 616 (There's no 666 or 420 so I figured I'd mix it up a bit) and I turn onto an empty starewell where these two kids - no, that sounds wrong, people - are necking in the corner of the first landing. Just as my brain registers the image, the guy turns away from the lips of his lover (whom I actually know and is kind of infamous for her PDA with her boyfriend around the school) and gives me this cold stare like "GTFO my stairwell, bitch." and I made this weird gag/cringe facial expression and hurried off on my way as they looked at me rather puzzled. I kind of wish I could've seen myself in third person doing that, because it must of been funny. XD Anyhow. SPEAKING OF LOVE AND VALENTINES DAY AND ALL THAT. We did this thing today were the girls had to wear pink hearts pinned to their shirts and could not talk to the boys during breaks. If you did, you had to give them the heart and whichever boy had the most hearts at the end of the day got pie and a free ticket to the dance. CC and TB would not leave me alone. TB kept bugging me before second period and tried to forcefully take my heart at lunch (it's hard to fight someone without speaking, let me tell you) and CC kept knocking me books from my arms and clicking pens and kicking me desk to try and make me angry. I kept telling them there wasn't much of a point since TB only had one and you needed at least five to get pie, and CC came in after lunch because of his braces anyhow so he only had one break to do it in. But they would not be deterred. Tomorrow is the same thing but with the boys' heart's instead of ours... good times will be had. CC is threatening to eat his heart when he gets it (I had the greatest mental image of him devouring a bloody pulsating organ and almost lost my coke) and apparently CZ is going to pay him and this other kid, TM, two dollars each for theirs because she's... weird like that. Anyhow, I had a good day today! Odd, but good.

It snowed today. And I almost got into a fight. I say 'almsot got into a fight' because I had every right to and if I had the guts I damn well would have, but I didn't because the other fighter would've been CJ. See, a year ago this very well loved, absolutely freaking amazing kid in our school commited suicide. It was a shock to everyone, he didn't leave a note so no one knows why exactly, but the first Monday after he died, there was graffiti all over the school walls with messages of love to him and his family. I'd only talked to this kid once and the profound amount of love and admration for his memory was astonishing, and it just affected me so deeply that he would do a thing like take his own life, without knowing just how many people loved him and how many lives he changed just by saying 'hello'. Complete strangers came to his funeral to pay their respects because they'd heard about his good deads and wished they could've befriended him as well. Well, tomorrow is his birthday and everyone in the school (or at least a good amount of people) are going to wear pink in his memory because that was his favourite colour. I was telling CJ about it, see. "It's a shame that he killed himself," she says, as we're are walking down the hall. "Yeah." "But you know... Because he wasn't killed by anyone else and he didn't die from an illness... because he took his own life... he's not going to Heaven, I know it." And that would be when a nerve impulse was sent to my shoulder and I had to act quickly before my arm swung up and knocked her fucking teeth out. "That's not fair," was all I could say. "If Heaven is real, he's getting in because he was a good person." "Well," she says in a 'well let me tell you something' kind of tone, "killing yourself kind of cancels that out, the Bible says. That's why you're not supposed to do it." And she giggled. I just left. I couldn't even do anything, I just left. That voice of reason inside my head was saying "YOU MARCH ON OVER THERE AND KICK HER IN THE SHINS YOUNG LADY," but I didn't. How. Fucking. Disrespectful. Can you get. I don't give a shit what your religion says, you do NOT go around telling people within earshot (a few other people near by were offended as well) that their friend (not my friend, but he was everyone elses) is going to HELL because he killed himself! Whatever issues he had must have been fucking MAJOR for him to go through with it, so not only are you being a bitch by even making the notion, you're speaking ill of the dead which is wrong in it's own right. That's just... it makes me sick. I know she thinks she's right, but DAMN, keep it to yourself! How would you feel if some religious nutjob came up to you and told you that, say, your mother was going to hell for whatever reason? They were going to burn for eternity in a fiery lake just because. You'd be right pissed of too. Christ, thinking back on it, I should've hit her. She pulled that shit when we found out he was dead, too. Only that was before we knew it was a suicide, and she said "Don't be sad, he's in Heaven now!" Fuck, man. Can you get any more ingorant?

Oh god has it been a while. So I saw Gran Torino last night, it was... well, probably the fist movie that's ever made me seriously weep. It was ssaaaad. Really. But on a lighter note, Clint Eastwood maybe really needs some Buckley's or a cough drop or something because is voice is awfully scratchy. We're not building hovercrafts or boats anymore in Advanced Woodshop. Too many people are transferring in. Thanks, Mr. Academic counselor. I don't like him, he scares me. He does this weird thing where he smiles everytime he says something no matter how serious it is and absolutely insists on maintaining eye contact with you whenever possible. I mean, when I'm talking to people I break away every so often, he just stares at you, deep into your very soul. Anyhow. He's better than the Emotional Counselor, who is from Quebec and is not doing her people any good at all. She's got a terrible accent and you can never understand what she's saying. I'm so glad I don't have such a screwed up life that I have to go in for counseling with her, I mean really. COUNSELOR: Souh, ah, what 'ave you come 'en for todaaay? NOTJUICE: Oh, well, there's just a lot of things going on... bit of trouble with my mom... COUNSELOR: Righ', 'end 'ow dose 'zees make you feeeel? NOTJUICE: ...

I'm going to name my kid something really, really stupid just because I fucking can, dammit. For a boy I'm thinking Jack Daniels. That's all I have to say, more or less.

I hate Twilight. I personally read about half of the book, got to the "Do I dazzle you?" line and gave the fuck up. The book wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for the fangirls. My friend CJ happens to like the book, that'd be cool with me if she wasn't all "OMG I'MMA MARRY EDWAAAARD!" about it. "OH HE'S SO GORGEOUS, I want him to break my headboard!" I don't think she even knows what that means. CC and I have this gag going on where every time she mentions how 'hot' he is we go "Oh, you mean the fairy?" This originated from the fact that in Twilight vampires don't disentigrate into dust and get their shit all messed up when in sunlight, they sparkle. Sprakling vampires, yeah. So I said "Well I wouldn't doubt it, he does wear a lot of body glitter" and so now in our eyes Edward Cullen is a fairy in both the literal and homosexual sense. And so CC said "His hair is so greasy and stiff you could hang Christmas ornaments from it" and laughs were had by all who are not madly in love with a sparkling ficticious vampire. If you like the book, whatever, that's great. But seriously, shut the fuck up about it. You are not going to marry someone who exists only in film and on paper. Robert Pattinson said himself that the rabid fangirls are fucking mental. Tl;dr, I think the book sucks. The end.