god, he's great. he walked me here, pretty much. i feel pretty funny. like, i want an emotional attachment and i want everything i had before with other people. he's not even my boyfriend, but i kinda want him to be? i hear a lot of bad about him. buuuut, that draws me in even more and i love it. i love it. i loved the way he walked me here, like he owned the place. god, i hope i can get to him before she does. it was beautiful tearing him away from K, this morning. the look on her face...oh man. but he came to me. so screw her. they're not together so she'll live.

he was all over me this morning, hey beautiful. it wasn't a hello, either. it was like "heyyyyy." like "daaaaamn". and it made me feel a little special, okay a lot. he walked me to first period. i feel like i have some kind of control now. sure it felt weird being close to a guy, his arms around me, and tracing the small of my back, but it's just physical so why do i want it?

blah blah blah, detention blows. skipped six classes thursday and didn't go friday. dijon and i made up.

skipped two classes friday, got a referral yesterday got high as fuck. detention saturday. i ended my friendship with dijon this morning. i feel amazing.

i just typed some long thing and it wouldn't accept it and the data wasn't cached. lovely. anyways. ex and i are talking again. four years of history is working wonders. he still loves me, i still love him, and i'm wearing the necklace he gave me in eighth grade. he gave it back to me this morning. i'm supposed to see him after third period and last lunch. i'm gauging my ears up to a 4 today. they're an 8 right now but I've worked in it and I think we can do it, cory's bringing gauges and someone might be able to pierce my septum. i can flip the ring up so my mom won't see it. dijon has a boyfriend. i hooked a bitchhh uppp :)