i've discovered i would like to change. because i really really wish that i never had to go past first base. i really do. because i hate all that other stuff. it's no fun for me. i'm like that song by silverstien. under your covers, more torture than pleasure. pretty fitting if you ask me. i can't see myself fitting with anybody though. and i feel like maybe if i fit, i could go past first. but if i fit, it wouldn't matter how far i go. because just fitting would be enough. what a conundrum i've become. i'm so proud of myself right now though. i stayed up all night. and i wrote a paper. it's really good. all in one night. it's already 5:10AM.