intimacy makes me want to throw up. im scared how much i want it and how much i want to run from it. 

i guess i'm feeling empty. i thought you could fill me but you aren't. it just feels like you're constantly pulling away from me and im not sure if i can do it much longer. i don't need everything. just a little something will do. why can't you just give me that? its not asking much. not nearly as much as i could be asking. how do people live? i don't really get it. its so much work. trying to attain everything that makes you "happy". i'm just already over it. why bother when not trying to be happy is so much easier?