such a mistake. i gave up a summer with you for what i dont even know. im happy we found each other again. i need you in my life and im happy you feel the same way. im so happy we love each other still. and i like our arrangement. that last night together was ahmazing. youre so sweet.

if only the memories could leave with you.  i cant handle them anymore. just when i thought i was out, you pulled me back in. but there isnt where i want to be. how many nights wasted? how many tears shed? i just want to sleep but sleep doesnt seem to ever find me anymore. too many thoughts. too many fantasies. too many could have beens. too many what ifs. too many almosts. too many unanswered questions. nothing seems to help anymore. im always just sad. i dont wanna be this person anymore.