theres trouble in paradise. hes feeling confused. the last few days felt weird to him. he doesnt want to break up he wants to work through this he wants everything to be perfect. i am so in love with him. my insides have shriveled up at the thought of him feeling that way. i feel dead.

he looks through me and i am soooo happy about it. hes worth nothing to me. i always make sure to kiss ryan in front him just because it makes me laugh. which is very childish. joe and i are getting better it seems but i dont really care about him at all. so yeah. i dont know i guess i felt the need to note this so i can always look back and remember that i felt like this at one time.

i love him and i am going to tell him. he makes me more happy than there are words to describe. i have never felt this way. on the other hand, i miss my best friend he's more distant than i think i can handle.

wow its been so long since ive written. ive been so happy lately. that new boy i met that was friends with my friend is now my boyfriend. we are extremely happy together. its ahmazing how when i wasnt looking for love its what found me. schools the same and he looks through me but thats okay i feel bad for him. theres not much to say when im happy because being happy makes me not feel the need to write. i guess i wont be around much more...