She said she was busy and couldn't go. I can see why she would say that, even if she wasn't lying. I was a bit too forward. I can see now that it was a bad idea. A concert isn't a good first date. So I went with my friend. He looked like he had a good time and The New York Dolls and X were in top form. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but have this sense of uncomfortableness in the back of my head. It was her. She was keeping me from having a good time. I feel somewhat uneasy that she can have so much power over me without knowing it.

When the concert was over my friend invited me to his house to drink. I said fine and we headed to his house. When we got there his brothers were already drunk so we joined them. I got really wasted and threw up in his bathroom although he doesn't know I did. Or at least I don't think he does. One of his brothers drove me home and as I laid in bed trying to go to sleep with my shoes on, I swore I would never drink that much again. At least not until the next time.

I went to church the next day with a splitting headache. As I stared at the cross in the middle of the church, I couldn't help but notice how boring church really is. When it was over, I stood outside with my family waiting, as always, for my mom to come out as she always stays to clean up. I looked around for Barbara but didn't find her. My headache got worse, possibly because of the cold weather. Finally, my mom came out and we went to Carl's Jr. and then home. It was about 5 o'clock. I laid in bed with a bottle of Tylenol P.M. in one hand and a water bottle in the other. My headache had gotten a little better and I was starting to fall asleep when the phone rang. It was Barbara. She was calling me.

As usual, a day like any other day. I put on pair of pants which I hadn't wore in ages and I find a quarter in one of the pockets. I thought I haven't played Marvel Vs. Capcom in a while, so I went to the local laundromat and play a game. I'm in the middle of fighting Jin and The Hulk (a formidable team) when some kid, about 12 years old, comes up, puts a quarter in, and challenges me to a match. I play along and three matches later, he's down 75¢ and my ego is soothed.

Nothing else interesting happened today with the exception of one thing. I was sitting at my desk writing a letter to a friend when the phone rang. I looked at the number and didn't recognized it. After four rings I decided to answer the phone and was greeted by a small murmur asking for me. It was her. My day went from mediocre to great in a second. We talked for hours. She told me that she loved The Soft Bulletin particularly Suddenly Everything Has Changed, The Observer, and Buggin which somewhat added to my smitten-ness. We talked for a bit more when I asked her about the concert. She told she would give me a definitive answer this Sunday. It got late and she said she needed to hang up. We said Good Night to each other and hung up. I finished my friend's letter and figured that today was a good day.

I decided to let her borrow The Soft Bulletin by The Flaming Lips. It seemed like a good choice. I'm sure she'd like it. As I entered church, I gazed around trying to find her. I took a seat, sat there for about a minute, and that's when I saw her walk in. The tight yellow shirt she was wearing accentuated her petit figure. We locked eyes and she smiled at me. At that moment, I felt insignificant. She was the most beautiful female I've ever seen, second only to my mother.

Church, as always, was slow and tedious. I felt that CD burning a hole in my pocket. When it was over, I told the family to go on without me. I stood there for five minutes, waiting patiently with butterflies in my stomach. The last time I felt butterflies in my stomach I was fifteen and the girl I liked at the time had just told me she wanted to be my girlfriend. She left me two months later and got pregnant by the next guy she hooked up with. Finally Barbara came. I stood there with the CD in my hand and she stood there with a book in her hand. She said I thought I should let you borrow something too. She handed me the book. It was Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh. She asked me if I ever read it before and I replied No even though I had when I was ten. I gave her the CD and she told me she would give it a listen as soon as she got home. We took a seat on the steps of the church and chatted away.

We sat there for about an hour. I told her that I was going to see X and The New York Dolls in two weeks and asked her if she wanted to go with me. She said she would think about it. She gave me her number and I gave her mine. We parted ways and I walked home. My family had already arrived. They had gone out to eat and they brought me their leftovers. As I sat there eating a skinless drumstick, compliments of my sister, I realized how much I'm falling for this girl. I finished my meal, went to my room, and fell asleep.

So this Sunday I'm going to let her borrow a CD. Last Friday I had promised my mom that I would go to church with her. She's gotten very religious as of lately to the point that she goes to church almost daily. But it doesn't bother me much. I was sitting there with an earphone on when I saw her from the corner of my eye.

She's short, has blondish hair, and sleepy eyes. I've noticed her in church many times. She reminds me of Gillian Anderson, Julianne Moore, Ellen Feiss, and a prostitute that got arrested in the first edition of COPS: Bad Girls all mixed in one. She's very beautiful. I think she's caught me in a stare a couple of times. She smiled at me once.

She was walking a group of kids to the bathroom. I don't know what I was thinking but I decided to go and talk to her. As I was walking to her, my mind was going a mile a second thinking about what I should say. I get to her, we make eye contact, and I say The Modern Lovers first album is mandatory listening. She laughs and says Is that so? I ask for her name and she answers me with the name Barbara. Barbara. We talk for a bit and when the kids had done their business she tells me she has to go. I tell her I'll see her around. She smiles at me and goes about her way. I put on my other earphone on, turn the volume all the way up, and stand there with a half-smile on my face while Jonathan Richman misspells the word Girlfriend.

That Sunday I saw her again. I was standing outside of church with my sister waiting for my mom when I see her waving at me. I tell my sister Don't wait up and go to her. We talked for about 30 minutes about things that people talk about when they first meet someone. She tells me that she loves music. I ask her if I let her borrow a CD would she listen to it and tell me what she thought of it. She answers yeah very ecstatically. I said I would bring it this Sunday. We parted ways and I walked home on account that my mom was long gone. I've narrowed it down to three albums: Jamboree by Beat Happening, The Soft Bulletin by The Flaming Lips, and III by Sebadoh. My friend asked me to take him to recycle his cans tommorow. I'll ask him for his opinion but I'm sure he'll just tell me that I'm being a moron. Maybe he's right.