i like you colin, that worries and scares me. i'm scared to be known, will you accept me? my faults?

sonic power predicts the future while our souls are in the dumpster holy electric night where does my spirit lie? i see ancient slumbering faces mouthes agape still wondering eternally why they didn't escape dream deserts, i walk through frozen fire one foot in front of the other till the time before is the time now and the difference is lost like unwound clocks the golden pool the withering mirage feeds my eyes but my body dies dancing, crying, screaming and i fall softly half-dreaming the ground is back my feet are tired my hands filled with sand the world is drier than the air and i lay sprawled barely there milky noises haunting figures feed my partched lips with healing, dancing, finger-tips into the dark forgotten twist and bend furthermore into sunken black sheets where friends and enimies lay in defeat the blackest sun will never cease blackening, silencing, where the golden angels lie trapped under the starless sky the pool pandora came to try egniting all that dries withering desolate cries release the pure golden faces from the clutches and the cages down with the gluttonous prince his fingers locked his gateways blocked but the sword from within slices through his dirty grin the harp is strung the opened gate across the fence to my escape

he holds you like he's so sure like every moment beneath you is unreal, dust HE CRIPPLES YOU AND THERE'S DANGER IN HIS TOUCH but every day wasn't real till he made his mark on you the fight, the fight the... you wear white he reads you he needs you and the time's gone you gave in to the moment the warm water flows down the drain you gave in to the facade you've gone bad but his silver wings... you thought he carried you! but his oval eyes you knew you knew you knew it's a window YOU saw THROUGH his tears were distant unexsistant...

baby's got to have a talk right here and now and with our hands interlocked clutching like the devil's man there we stand, hand in hand eyes locked searching for reprimand please, understand baby now you look away into the mist of yesturday when are's army came to slay the faces of tommorow-land yet here we still stand hand in hand searching eachother's eyes for reprimand for tommorow's time is a distand land to distant to comprehend but at the throne of our next sunken man who'll guide us through the empty years and pretend our eyes are dry not tear-ed and show us how to take commands as we drone hand in hand to the everlasting walk of sand to busy to comprehend but baby, i understand baby don't fear this land baby we'll go hand in hand

i've been trying and trying to axcess this site, it's been a year since i've been on. i've been looking over all of these entries and it's very interesting to see how i've progressed and changed. it's strange, actually, to be reading my thoughts from last year. when your an adoscelent you change SO astronomically from year to year. i think that that rapid formation of your brain is the cause of mine and others "insne" feelings. though i'm sure not everyone has those feelings. to finish whatever of a story that was, me and christian aren't together... we had a terrible drawn out ending to what i hadn't realized was a complete mistake of a relationship. i'm not over it, last year i tramatized myself, and i let down everyone around me. the reasons why i was going crazy were because i was so isolated, so isolated, i diminished whatever good contact i had with anyone except christian. and it led to my breaking point. i don't know how i'll except this failure