Have you ever wanted to tell someone how you feel, but had to wait for so long before you said it? Then, in the middle of it all, your mind is racing a million different things at one time. Will I be too late? Will she find someone else? Welcome to my realm of torture and agony. It gets to the point where eating isnt much of an option, and sleeping becomes harder to do. I just wish, for once in my life, I could be truly happy. For one moment, one thing that Ive wanted more than anything in this world, Id be blessed with it. No strings attached. No drama. Im still wishing...

Sometimes in life, all you need is a pack of cigarettes, some whisky, and a deep dark place to take you away from the hell that is your life. I want that. No, I NEED that. I just dont know what to do or say to let people know how I feel, because people shut out what they dont want to hear, but insist that you listen to their bullshit. Even in your own home, its a shame you cant trust anyone but yourself. When your life gets to be a clusterfuck of madness, you just need to get away from everyone. Drink some of the strongest whisky to date, and blow smoke rings in the dark. Does it fix anything? No. It just numbs the pain. A pain that never goes away. Never. Im just tired of searching for answers, wishing for the best, and nothing happening. Im tired. Emotionally fucking drained, and I need something good.