[twenty two] current song: Come One, Come All - All Time Low current mood: happy So, the date actually went really well. He's a really cool and nice guy. And The Office was amazing as well. So that was good too. I don't think I'm going to ever really be in a relationship with the guy, but I definitely want to hang out with him more. I could see being really good friends with him.

[twenty one] current song: Bad Habits - My Favorite Highway current mood: i have no idea. I think I'm going on a date tomorrow night. Dinner and The Office. This kid really confuses me. I haven't even met him yet. WEIRDNESS. I really truly hope it's not too awkward. What the fuck did I just get myself in to?

[twenty] current song: Bad Habits - My Favorite Highway current mood: frustrated. Why is everyone getting fucking engaged and married while I sit here, have been kissed in over 2 years, haven't had a boyfriend in 2 1/2 years. I'm fucking pissed. Shouldn't I have a chance at something?? My roommate got her first kiss a year ago, and has had 2 boyfriends since. What the fucking hell?!? There's gotta be something wrong with me, right? Because honestly, this is fucking pissing me off. I hate being the one left out. I just want something. I want to make out with someone at least. Is that too much to ask for? Just a little NCMO. Fuck. It's actually making me incredibly depressed. I'm fucking pissed and frustrated and I want to go fucking home to Seattle before I lose my fucking mind here.

[nineteen] current song: Far From Home - The Classic Crime current mood: homesick I'm so lost. I've got a bad pain in my heart. I've just been completely kidding myself. I should just give up now. I feel like such a fucking retard. Seattle is calling me back home.

[eighteen] current song: none (i'm watching Cellular) current mood: happy/giggly/bubbly Does he even have the slightest clue to what he does to me? Maybe I'm just being stupid. I haven't seen him in almost a month. I've talked to him online once in chat. And then I sent him a message on Facebook, and he made me as an officer in his group as response with the perfect officer title name. He's just so fucking adorable. I can't even stand it. That boy drives me crazy. I'm so incredibly attracted to him. I've never been that attracted to somebody in my entire life. Anything he says or does just makes me crazy. He's so fucking adorable. I love him. And I can't do anything about it. But anytime I hear from him, I just want to giggle and blush and sigh*melt*drool. I don't even understand how one person can be so amazingly attractive.

[seventeen] current music: none current mood: frustrated I've been back at school for a week now. Just finished the first week of my junior year of college. It's giong to be crazy, dude. I'm going to have NO social life because of my anatomy/physiology class. Anyways, I was excited about getting back with my roommates until I just realized int he last 30 minutes how frustrating it is to watch a movie with them. They're so fucking innocent and sheltered. I don't understand it. We're watching a lifetime movie and there's a part at a party and this guy and this girl start making out on a bed and my IR (innocent roomie) #1 turns to my IR #2 and is like "change it." I'm just sitting here, like, WTF. Honestly, it's not that bad. You need to fucking get over it. And then this girl's getting these rape tests done at the doctors and they're asking her questions and IR #2 changes the channel again. Again, I'm like WTF. So I turned to look at her and kind of made this face. And she's trying to justify why, but I was just like "it wasn't that bad. she's just at the doctor." And they tried to say something again, but I basically said "Oh my gosh you guys, it's really not that bad." And then they haven't said anything else. And NOW I remember the cons of going to a Mormon college. Honestly, I love the classes, my apartment, and the professors, but seriously. My roomates need to chill the fuck out. They're WAY too sheltered or something. It drives me crazy. I'm a little irritable right now, and quite frankly, the IRs are pissing me off. I just want to go somewhere and fucking do something. This sucks, man. I want to go home.