i should have kissed her.

happy birthday. i'm sorry we're not in love. i'm sorry we never were. we have the connection, but it's just not right. i'm sorry i hurt you. i'm glad we're friends. i hope you find someone who will love you back. i hope you get to wear a suit and tie to work and earn enough to buy that volvo and blackberry. i love you. i'm sorry we're not twelve anymore.

i'm in love with love. and life. and being. i can't wait for the weather to get warm. i miss friday night.

yesterday we watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. i've always liked that movie. i can relate to jim carrey's character. so much. except. i never. want to forget. i love you.

i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am human i am i am i am

thursday was semi formal. we drove for twenty minutes talking about shoes, universities, and memories. i mostly kept quiet and stared out the window. it was dark dark dark then light light light. i wish i could have seen her eyes, though. when we got inside, i didn't feel uncomfortable like i usually do at those kinds of functions. i talked. i danced. i laughed. i sang. i watched. i listened. i had a good time. as the night progressed, i didn't want it to end like i usually do at those kinds of functions. i danced with a girl that makes my heart pump pump pump. later, as i held her in my arms and stared at her porcelean face, wondering what was going on inside the depths of her mind, i felt infinite. i fell asleep, at three thirty in the morning, tangled up in blue.