Well for now bye my journal. Ill truly miss you and the internet but don't worry ill be on in like a year or so. I just can't believe she's making me give up the phone I pay for with my own money. I have lots too say but I won't say it because of its unapprpiate material. My whole life I've been treated like crap and this is just another accessory to it. So if I don't die when I turn 15 because that number hunts me then I should be back on like I said I love you my beatidul journal well drea at least we have classes together. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Wow I haven't journaled in a while. Just got a few things to say for starters I'm in high school now...yay! I love it so far because I'm in the school I'm supposed to be in which by the way is a lot better than where I was going for the first 3 1/2 days of high school. And of yea alex called me today and oh boy how "exciting" that was for me. My favorite part of the conversation when he told me about this hot columbian girl on his bus. He was so totally not trying to piss me off. (haha yea right) I'm about to just give up on him but I know that's not me to give up on something I really want. At the same time there's only so much I can take! (Sigh) whatever happens will happen personally I don't care anymore even if he claims these things that he likes me I just don't care anymore I'm through

I'm like wishy washy right now. I don't know its like I'm happy but I get mad when I think about going back home. I'm just so ready to move in and its like I still have almost a. Year. But I guess I shouldn't be complaing I am lucky enough to get away from their. So yea boy I got a miracle today. I got to see my aunt from my dads side. Weirdddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway ill journal later

I don't wanna start doing it again because of the promise I made to drea. But sometimes its so hard to resist bècause when you live with a nappy headed hoe like I do you'll understand. I know it seems complicated but if you only knew her like I know her. The frizzy headed hoe is so fake she just makes me sick literally. She pushes me to drink but I won't under any circumstances drink because I vaule my friendship too much yea anyway ttyl

Is the stupidiest thing in the world! How can you judge someone you don't even know and I know that can be good in some cases but not when its a race of people. You can't just say something like "I hate all gay people because they're sinners". Last time I checked everyone sins so let go of it. I really just don't like this because it pisses me off even more than I already be. Its like my life is a fuc***** everlasting chain of depression sorrow and big disappoints. I know I sound like a normal tennage boy with a normal life but trust me I only type about 1/4 of my life on here and trust me that's a good thing because if it was all typed on here...

For high school. Now that I really think about it um not ready. The sudden changes and plus this is the start of the rest of my life. Its not that I'm too scared I'm just scared of the fact that a lot of people will either change or show their true self. Honestly I can't take that for some of my driends because I know that change can be good or bad. Some people might seperate themselves from me because I'm gay and they might be to ashamed to hang out with me. Trust me its happened to me before and I'm so scared of it all repeating itself again. And too make it worse well never mind on that one. But anyone I need to take a chill pill ttyl

I've been so happy for the past few days! I've been having the time of my life with my new sister karissa and our brother sister mommy and cousins. I'm so much more happy here than I am when I'm with my aunt. Its like this is my family now I can't wait to move in next year. But of course for those of you that read my journal will know that their has to be something wrong and you'd be 100% correct! So if you're begging to know which I know you are drea! Its... Alex! Yea he replied to that message and oh boi it was an interesting reply! Well first off he used the mental illness excuse! Apparently he's physcologically sick and he didn't have his medicine when he was acting crazy! He asked did I want to save the friendship and I haven't replied yet but I'm thinking about what to do. But I'm so confused I want to be his friend I really do but how can I believe a compulsive liar! He's so I mean perfect in my eyes but a complete a**hole in reality! He said he's done lying and trying to stop drinking. How can I believe him though? I mean when you love someone you're not supposed to give up on them but anyway I guess ill give him another chance but this is the last time! No more chances! Of course I say that but drea you know the truth...