Do you think people can change? I'm not talking about losing weight or changing your hair colour I mean real change. As life rolls on, at one time or another everyone feels a little stagnant. Maybe it's your job or your relationship etc you just feel the need to change. If you get sick of being around the same people you can always get up and leave right? So what happens when the person you're sick of is yourself? What do you do? Try positive thinking? See a shrink? Find God? If you do one or all of these things and the feeling remains, what happens then? It's funny how your mind plays tricks on you. One day, you think about your life and feel pretty good because there's always someone worse off. Then the next day, you may wake up and feel like there is nothing left for you out in the world because you can never return to that one part of your life where you were really happy. I hate the second feeling. There is nothing more wasteful then finally understanding exactly what you lost and what you could have done to fix it. Especially when you can never go back to that and it would be damaging to do so. Back to the ex huh? Guess time can't heal all wounds. At least not yet. Here's the thing: I know that as humans we always judge ourselves the hardest. Friends tell me that I can do much better than my ex but the problem is that while I can appreciate a good looking woman, I immediately disregard a relationship and why? Because she wouldn't have time for a guy like me. I know this isn't who I'm supposed to be but my relationship was sour for a long time before it finally ended and I guess when the person you care about the most has nothing good to say about you, you tend to believe it. Even after they're gone. This isn't about pity. I know there are plenty of people on this site that have it much worse than I do and I do have alot to be thankful for. I just can't find anything in myself that I believe anyone would want. My greatest gift was thrown away like it was rubbish so why would anyone else be any different? So we come back to change. Attitudes, lifestyle, personality. Can people really change? I hope so. I really do. I have to believe it's true because I don't want to be this guy anymore. I wish I had the answer but it's been eluding me for 2 years now. Another year the same way may be too much.