even if we did get a little bit too drunk. haha, asher roth. last night was exactly what i needed. i've never felt so good about myself in my liiiife. the boy i mentioned? the one i wasn't stressing? he's growing on me, and impressing me even more. and i'm STILL not stressing? haha waddafuxup. even if it is wierd that my brother is 20, he has amazing friends, and throws AMAZING parties. last night was the best night everrrrrrrrr and ugh i was so close to going out and smoking with my brother's friends [one of them being the one that i am in love with, and who everyone thinks loves me too] but as they were leaving and yelling at me to come with, my brother was like OH COURT YOU GOTTA COME SAY BYE TO EVERYONE! THEY'RE LEAVING/GOING TO SLEEP! by the time i finished that, the boys were gone and i couldn't get out of my house or find them hahaha. needless to say, they got a drunken lecture when they came back in. i was given a rain check though (; SO ANYWAY. my good spirits have been restored. more goood times are on the way, i think. live&love, baby.

oh, well it was only a matter of time. i don't even want to type out what's going on. it'll make me feel worse. i just feel like all at once, i've lost everyone. my best friends ugh, idk its not an enjoyable feeling. i guess the higher you get, the faster and harder you fall consider this my epic plummet.

snow days that turn into gross rainy slushy days make me bored. shuffle. song you're listening to right now: day old hate by city and colour [haha, as if i listen to anything else?] favorite song: awake by secondhand serenade [not quite] favorite singer/band: she and him (song: sweet darlin') [once again, not quite] favorite lyrics: hot hot hot! by buster poindexter [hahahaha, i put this on a mix for my friend, and completely forgot it was still on here. but no, these aren't my favorite lyrics. extremely close though...] meaningful lyrics: i'm not okay (i promise) [stfu, i will always love this album. not the most meaningful lyrics in the world, but not meaningless. yeah yanno.] stupid lyrics: daydreaming by lupe fiasco [noooo! i love lupe!] boring lyrics: #1 crush by garbage [a little bit, just because they're a bit repetitive. i love shirley manson and her slow sexy voice though. she can do no wrong, and i would gladly go gay for her (: hahahaha] great song title: clothes off! by gym class heroes [hahaha, yeah i'd say its pretty great] stupid song title: dicks are for my friends by mindless self indulgence [def not! hahahaha msi is fucking hilarious] overrated song: millstone by brand new [nooooo, def more underrated.] rightly rated song: the circus that has brought us back to these nights (yo chocola) by the fall of troy [hell no, the band itself is underrated] underrated song: belt by say anything [yeah, pretty much] underrated singer/band: paramore (song: when it rains) [WHA!? no. highly OVERrated.] overrated singer/band: fakin' it by simon & garfunkel [hellllll no, they're amazing] this singer/band doesn't belong on the face of the earth: jason mraz (song: wordplay) [noooo! no no no! i love him] song to sing to: just dance by lady gaga [most defff, as well as to dance to] song to dance to: people like you are why people like me exist by say anything [yeah, this is pretty danceable] song to play to: boring by the pierces [well, i can't play anything. plus, the instrumentals on this song are simple and slow. it's a good song to sing and/or dance to though] i can sing this song in my sleep: pop-punk is sooooo '05 by cobra starship [not quite. mostly though] this song is cool: we intertwined by the hush sound [wtf is "cool"?] this song is funny: got your money (cover) by say anything [ahhhhhh ahahhaa yes its hysterical. max beeeeemiiis

joshua radin, you are phenomenal. i've been well, in case you were wondering. k that sounded sarcastic. but i really have been well! i've suddenly found myself in the most amazing crew of friends. we refer to ourselves as family. the question is never "wanna hang out tonight?". its "yo, what are we doing?" it's never "who do you wanna invite?" its "who can't make it?" or "who's picking the place this time?" i love it, and i love them. i have someone on my mind for the first time in so long. and i'm not even stressing over him. it's such a nice feeling. i feel like something huge is happening for me. and we've only just begun. live, love

...is i got bones. here is how to affectively avoid homework. Song #1: losing patience by comeback kid Your favorite lyric from this song: don't think this means i'm walking away. i won't let fear get the best of me. now it's up to me, i wouldn't change a thing. don't think this means i'm walking away. Does this song have any bad memories attached? NAH What genre is this? hardcore? fuck genres. Song #2: temporary by paramore What's the last line of this song? when repetition ends, we'll start over. we'll start over. Have you ever seen this artist live? yesm Who does this song make you think of? somewhere between a dance party, and one of my shit relationships Song #3: body like mind by ace enders and a million different people What's the first line of this song? story of my life is i got bones Where did you first hear this song? after the early nov broke up, i heard ace enders was goin solo (more or less) then, i heard his debut cd was available as a free download on fuse's website. that would be the first time i heard it. How about the first time you heard the artist? ace in general? FOREVER ago. early november

college. shit, man. i feel like i might be stressing myself out over college more than i should be. but then again, its approaching at a ridiculous speed. i have a huge list of schools. my three top schools are all a bit problematic. 1. NYU - HA, i do not have the money to go here at all. plus, my grades are good, but idk if they're NYU good. every time i mention NYU to my mom she gives me this sad little look. then she says something about how its good for me to strive for it, but she doesn't want to disappoint me. i'm really self conscious about even telling people i want to apply here, because i honestly don't know if i could get in. ARGH. 2. Cleveland State University - ....ahem. eight hours is a LOOOOOONG drive. and i'm scared that i only want to go here because of the possibility that i could get to intern with AP magazine. it IS a really nice school, though. and really affordable, considering its a state school. 3. York - its the smallest problem of the three, but its still of concern to me. York is in the middle of nowhere. i already live in the most boring town in new jersey. which is precisely why im itching and driving myself insane to get out of here. i feel so fucking trapped here, and i don't want to find myself trapped up there. sure, every one i know of that goes there LOVES it. but idk. its still bothering me. my mom desperately wants me to stay instate. i REFUSE. the statistics of the NJ schools kill me - 98% instate, 2% out of state. it's almost depressing. i want to go somewhere where i'm the 2%. but then i'm scared that if i go too far, i'll lose touch with all of my friends. i'm scared that on winter break and spring break and summer break i won't have anyone to come home to. on the other hand, if i don't go far enough, i'll never meet anyone new. i'll never move on with my life. i wanna be able to branch out and experience something completely different. this is all such bullshit. i'm not even ready to APPLY to college, and its stressing me out beyond belief. THEFUCK.

supsupsup, first post of 2009. i really don't have anything to talk about, but all's i know is - i'm doing this year different. fuck regret and keep on truckin' got the new(ish) ligeia cd. the teenage wasteland lyrics are perfect. its exactly how i'm living right now hahaha. oh! and i found the FIRST good charlotte cd at fye for $3.99! it came out in 2000, and i prob bought it in like '02. its so great. i can't describe it. its so entertaining. and it basically became my lifeeeeeee hahahaha soundtrack to almost every day of my life. AND I LOST IT! i was devestated. my friend lost hers too. so i've been looking for it for yeeeears. and i found it! for dirt cheap! yaaaaaaay! k stfu i'm embarassed bye (: