Warped '08 in Englishtown overall = EPIC FAIL But certain bands were fucking flawless. One of those being Evergreen Terrace, whom opened with Chaney Can't Quite Riff Like Helmet's Page Hamilton. I think you should download it. So much has changed since my last entry, it's NOT even funny. That boy Max? Also an epic fail. He was charming, we had really really cute nights. Kissed, then a few days later hooked up. Hung out alot, kept hooking up. But I never liked him really. It was always about him. Always talking at me, never to me. Always talking about himself. Idk, I just wanted to be wanted. But anyway, today at Warped me and Amber met up with him and Chris. Max was with another girl. Some slut. She wasn't even wearing a shirt. Ugh. So I ignored him, he did the same to me. We only stayed with them for a few minutes. Next time we saw Chris, Max and the girl were not with him. Didn't see Max again til we were leaving 8 hours later. This time, he was talking to two girls. As soon as they walked away, he came running over to me and wrapped me in a huge hug and nuzzled my neck. I was disgusted. Amber was pissed. She leaned over to Chris and goes, "Get that fucking slut off of Courtney." He kept trying to hold me and cuddle me. I kept getting away. The last thing I wanted was to kiss him. So I kept denying him. I pushed him off me, I dodged him, I ignored him when I saw his face on my shoulder out of the corner of my eye. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. I'm fine with hooking up with someone and not being their girlfriend. I'm not fine with just being another notch in someone's belt. There IS a difference. The last thing I want to be to someone is "Just Monday." I didn't even say bye to him. I guess his monday's will be open from now on. Whatever man. I honestly don't care. I'm just sick of getting let down. I'm over it.

There are some songs that are just MEANT for long drives with a boy you like. Some boys are smart enough to play them. You Had Me At Hello - A Day To Remember Playing Favorites - The Starting Line Sunday Drive - The Early November (^even though this ones sad) So wanna hear a story? It's called Courtney's Night, Which Of Course Didn't Work Out How It Was Supposed To So Amber and I were supposed to go to the boardwalk at like 6, and Max and Chris (the kid she's with) would meet us there around 6:30 or so. We get there, and it's perfect out. Kinda foggy, and maybe a tad cool, but I'd rather that. Amber and I sat out by the water and stared out over it, getting ourselves excited about what would happen when the boys got there. We knew Chris would finally ask her out, since they've been 'together' for about a month. He wanted to do it on the jetti. Max apparantly wanted to hook up with me. That sounds skeezy... he'd just wanted to kiss me, ya know. Cuz we get along, and like each other I guess. We've only hung out like 3 times, but I was definately into him, so I was reeaaaally excited he was coming. But then, Amber gets a phone call from Chris. "Heeey, um Max has a meeting for work at 8 so we can't come to the boardwalk but me and him can come pick you guys up from there and we'll drop him at work and then get him after the meeting..." Basically, we were pissed. Everything was so perfect, and then just like that it wasn't. Ugh. But whatever. They got there and Max hugs and me goes "I'm sorrrryyyyy! I hate my job!" We hop in Chris's car. Amber and I trying our best to sulk in the back, Max and Chris making us laugh hysterically from the front. They both kept choosing reallly cute acoustic songs to blast. I almost peed my pants when I saw Max switch the song and heard the opening chords to You Had Me At Hello by A Day To Remember. It's one of my favorite songs. Sing that to me, and I'll be puddy in your hands. I gasped really loud when it came on and grabbed Amber's arm. "My song!" I whispered to her. Max saw me. He tried to hide his smile and turned it up a little. I sang it to myself, losing myself in the softness of Max and Chris's voices. I glanced over at Amber and saw that Chris was reaching back from the driver's seat with one hand and toying with Amber's fingers. Every once in a while he'd turn and sing to her, or mouth something to her. She told me later he was telling her he loved her. I leaned my head against the window, but didn't let my eyes leave Max completely. Every few lines, he'd sneak a look at me. I couldn't help but smile. Unfortunately, Circut City was a lot closer than I thought. And his meeting was a lot longer than EVERYONE thought. I spent the next to hours driving around with the cutest couple in existence. Seriously. They're perfect together. I can't even describe it. They just always have so much... FUN. But it wasn't awkward. Amber's my best friend, and Chris has made himself my new best friend. He's probably one of the funniest people alive. With Chris, you always feel welcome. So it was fun, but inevitably lonely. The backseat is a big empty place when you're the only one back there. By the time Max got out of his meeting, it was 10:00, and they had to go visit their friend who just got in a car accident. Car ride home was nice - we were talking, laughing, a little bit of cuddling. When we pulled up to Amber's house, Chris kicked Max and I out of the car because he needed to talk to Amber. They drove away a little bit, leaving Max and I alone. We laughed and what not. Then we looked over to the car and Max goes "Are they still making out?" I laughed and nodded. Then it got really wierd. He goes, "Yeah, I'd ask you to, but..." So I was like, "...but?" He looked off towards the car and scratched his head. Then he said, "Well, you're 16. My little brother's 16. It's... idk it's wierd!... It couldn't happen, ya know?" I looked down. "Oh, hah yeah true..." I wasn't even hurt by this. Just extremely comfused. I had no idea what any of it even meant. Especially when he looked away and said, "Or maybe it could..." I looked up at him, even more confused. He smiled and said some witty funny comment that sparked another one of our funny conversations. I forgot about what had just happened for the time being. Until I got back to my house. I really have no idea what he meant. I'm hanging out with him on Friday, I think. Maybe I'll figure it out then. Amber's convinced he likes me. He's a nice boy. I hope she's right... Boys, we are SO not the confusing ones. It's allllll you.

So today was the annual 4th of July party at Alyssa's. My family goes every year. Only everything was different. I mean slowly, it's been less and less enjoyable. All us kids are growing apart. We all changed. It's forced now. I miss the old days. But I don't want to talk about the old days. We did that enough at the party. Sometimes, nostalgia can be a royal bitch. But I'm really bored. I feel like typing. And listening to music. So I'm doing this little quizzy thing, which incorporates both. Such luck I have. Song #1: Mutt by Blink 182 Your favorite lyric from this song: "He took the seat off his own bike because the way that it felt. He wants to bone, this I know, she is ready to blow. They go out every night His pants are super tight, oh yeah And they don't even care at all. She's open waiting for more And I know he's only looking to score And it is way to unhealthy Often, they typically Been starved for attention before" Does this song have any bad memories attached? Nope. Blink 182 makes me happy. What genre is this? Pop/Punk at its finest Song #2: A Song About Stars by Jason Castro What's the last line of this song? Yes she's gone, gone away. Have you ever seen this artist live? Awww, no. I wanna though. What does this song make you think of? Someone :X Song #3: They Looked Like Strong Hands by Bayside What's the first line of this song? This isn't who I am Where did you first hear this song? On their acoustic cd How about the first time you heard the artist? Oh jeeeez. A long time ago, when I got a Victory Records sampler EP from somewhere. Or it might have been when they still had VictorTV on Fuse on Sunday mornings. Man, that was the best. Song #4: Faggot by Mindless Self Indulgence Which friend could this be a theme tune for and why? I don't wanna name her name. But this is what she does. Minus the whole 'being a gay guy' thing. Write down the chorus: Dig me now, fuck me later Sing it to the tune of FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT! Dig me now, fuck me later And sing it like that I've been denied all the best ultra sex I've been denied all the best ultra sex Why do you like this song? I love Mindless Self Indulgence. All of their songs have amazing beats and humorously insulting and mocking lyrics. This song is no exception. Song #5: Flying At Tree Level by Brand New What kind of film would you choose this as the theme for? A 'Can't Hardly Wait'-esque teen drama. Who introduced you to this artist? Nichole, most likely. Best part of this song: Jesse's voice. It makes the song so much more affective. Song #6: Burn by Alkaline Trio The fourth line reads: We toss and turn, sleep so loud How long is this song? 4:09 Is it one of your favourites? It's def up there Song #7: Lights On by The Pierces How long have you been listening to this artist? Few months. What's the cover look like on the album this came from? It's a pink background with a cute little cartoony drawing of Allison and Catherine. Behind them there's all those furry dandelions that you make wishes on. Under them it says The Pierces and under that theres a black and white striped snake. All the art is in black and white. Oh, and above all of this, it says 'Thirteen Tales Of Love And Revenge' What's this song about? I think it's about a man seducing a woman by saying whatever is necessary, and the power he has over her once he succeeds. Has your favourite song come up? Not quite. Mmmm, I get to see him on Sunday. I wish it was Sunday now. He's so beautiful, and he's interested in me. God, I'd give anything to have him wrap his arms around me again right now. Whoa, I don't know where that came from. I didn't even realize I was thinking about him. Ummmm, okay I'm going to sleep. It's 2:40 in the morning. I have to wake up at 7:00. Time management is not one of my best qualities.