Listening to: Carvel by John Frusciate I hate: Twisty-bottom pens, plastic band-aids. I love: peanut butter, dark chocolate You know, I have had a theory. It's a bit old, i think 3 years old now, but it's evolved over the years. I came up with this idea when I was about 10 or so, and I have never forgotten about it. I believe that everyone, or maybe just myself, has a subconsious personality. And everyone's is different. Now this "sub-ego" we will call it, he or she is everything that you want to to be. Or everything you don't want to be. Either way works. It is either the ideal version of you OR the complete disaster of you. The "this is as bad as it can possibly get" you. Stick with me now. So this sub-ego is up there, watching you. Being perfect or being a wreck. And you are caught in reality, either trying to be like your ideal version. Or running away from your disastrous persionality. Either way, this subconsious personality is pushing you and taunting you, in order for you to live a better life. In order for you to keep on improving and striving to be a better person. In true fact, you want to be JUST LIKE your ideal version. But you never can. And you never will. Because it has you trapped there in real life, trying to make something of yourself. Trying to accept fate and all the shit that comes with it. End of entry. Peace, love, and waffle fries everyone. -Michelley

Listening to: A Firm Kick by John Frusciante I hate: Under-eye bags, body glitter I love: wawa peddles and icecream Hi all. I guess I am really bored because I can't do anything but journal today (and yesterday, as you can tell). Lately, I've just been reading, journaling, and endlessly searching for shit to do on the internet. And it struck me. I love dream dictionaries. I have always had strange dreams. Not exactly nightmares, because they werent scary. But dreams that are a bit creepy and just completely distorted. I like it and I find it is the source of my elation and my strange state of mind in reality. And still somehow I find it weird that people still find me to be a completely sane and normal person. And at that, a nice person. I never really considered myself "nice". I would probably describe it more as myself having a peaceful and serene attitude about most things. I guess you could call it happiness. And, really, that scares me. That people don't know who I am. Well, atleast who I think I am. Perhaps the person I see myself as is totally different from my real personality. Oh, I wish things like this were more straight forward. Peace, Love, Waffle Fries, and Rice Krispies everyone. -Michelley

Here's some Nirvana videos. 1) In Bloom. I love this one. 2) Heart Shaped Box 3) Smells Like Teen Spirit. 4) Lithium Enjoy.

DAMMIT! Someone tell me how to make things bold, italic, and make smilies on this journal. I am jealous of all the fanciness in other people's journals. haha Adios, and please answer!

----------------------FAVORITES-------------------- *Shampoo: Fructis or Herbal Escenses *Soap: Dove *Color: Periwinkle *Day or Night: night *Summer or winter: Winter *Commercial: why would I like commercials. *Movie: Sisterhood, the Notebook, any comedy *TV Show: Scrubs, Colbert Report, the Soup, that 70s Show *Ice Cream: Pistachio *Drink: Dr. Pepper, Grande Shaken Passion Iced Tea with Lemonade Sweetened from Starbucks. *Childrens' Book: Hop on Pop, Yertle the Turtle, Horton Hears a Who, Madeline *Season: Winter *Day: May 20th *Cartoon: Hey Arnald, Catdog *Day of the week: Friday *Word: Perposterous, tomfoolery, shizzit, shizzle, awesome *Bath & Body Works scent: Mango Mandarin *Cookie: Chocolate Chip or Oatmeal Raisin *Cake: Yellow with chocolate frosting, or strawberry shortcake *Smart-aleck remark: "Fuck you" or "Fuck yo motha" *Movie quote: "You stay classy San Diego." basically anything from Anchorman or Dodgeball *Flower: Iris, orchid, daffodil *Animal: Turtle --------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------------- *Santa Claus: How else do the gifts wind up under the tree? *Tooth Fairy: yeah, we hang out a lot *Destiny/Fate: Yes *Afterlife: Yes -----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE-------------------- *Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Nope *Like anyone? Yes... *Who have you known the longest of your friends: Tara *Who is the loudest: Me or Nora *Who is the weirdest: Me and Nora hahaha *Who do you go to for advice: Nora or Tara * Who do you cry with: Um no one? *What is the best feeling in the world: Making someone laugh *Worst feeling: Being falsely accused ---------------THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUESTIONS------------- *If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? I wouldn't build the house. ha. *Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? Eyes *Favorite nonphysical feature of the opposite sex? Sense of humor *The last CD you bought? Stadium Arcadium. wow. *Where's your least favorite place to be? Library or Church *What's most important? Strong in mind or strong in body? Mind *What's your favorite kitchen appliance? I guess a blender. I don't know... *What makes you really angry? Liers and kiss ups *If you could play an instrument, what would it be? Guitar (I already do but I want to get better) *If you could have one super power, what would it be? The ability to read minds whenever I wanted to *Can you juggle? No I suck at juggling *Name one person you'd like to bring back from the past and talk to. Grandpa or Kurt C. or Hillel S. DO YOU HAVE... Any Sisters? Nooo Any Brothers? One Any Pets? 1 turtle A Disease? i don''t think so.... A Pager? No A Personal Phone Number? Yes A Leather Jacket with Studs on It? No A Heroin Needle? No, not that i am aware of A Pool or Hot Tub?neither A Car? no DESCRIBE YOUR... Personality: funny, goofy, original Driving: don't drive Room: not clean. not that messy either. Shoes: flip and flop. comfy and cheap. School: boring but necessary and fun at times Bed: small and stiff Relationship with Your Parent(s): i love mom! i don't understand my dad DO YOU... Get Motion Sickness? Not really Eat Chicken Fingers With a Fork? hahahaha ha. ha. nah. Dream in Color? yep, mostly Type With Your Fingers on Homerow? hahaha nope. Sleep With a Stuffed Animal? not exactly cuddling. but he;s in the bed Believe In Yourself? not really, i guess sometimes Believe In Love at First Sight? no not at all Consider Yourself a Good Listener? yeah Consider Yourself a Good Friend? yeah, pretty much Get Along With Your Parents? mostly Save Your Chat Conversations? Noooo Like to Make Fun of People?If they are worthy of it and deserve it, yes Like to Talk on the Phone? it;s ok i guess THIS OR THAT Me/You: You Coke/Pepsi: I don't like either Aol/Aim: AIM CD/Cassette: CD DVD/VHS: DVD Jeans/khakis: Jeans Car/Truck: Car Tall/Short: i don't care Lunch/Dinner: Lunch COMPLETELY RANDOM QUESTIONS Your name spelled backwards. Ellehcim Aznatsoc Where were your parents born? Both in the Bronx What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf. What's your favorite restaurant? Wild Ginger, Rosies Last time you swam in a pool? don't remember Have you ever been in a school play? no. How many kids do you want? when I get older, 2 Type of music you dislike most? Rap Are you registered to vote? no, too young Ever prank call anybody? YES haha, sorry David's Bridal. Ever get a parking ticket? no Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? absolutely! Furthest place you ever traveled? Italy Do you have a garden? Nope. What's your favorite comic strip? Betty and Veronica Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower and night Best movie you've seen in the past month? The Dark Knight and The Sisterhood 2 Favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni Chips or popcorn? Popcorn. What color lipstick do you usually wear? No lipstick. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Noooo Orange or Apple juice? Orange. Favorite type chocolate bar? Hershey Special Dark Have you ever won a trophy? Yeah... Are you a good cook? absolutely!! Sprite or 7-up? 7-Up... Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Clearasil Cleanser Ever throw up in public? Nope Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? Find true love. and then become a millionaire. haha. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Yes, dark and curly! What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Wayne and Garth...Church Lady...Lunch Lady....Matt Foley What was the name of your first pet? Yorgi What is in your purse? Gum, wallet, tampon, iPod, phone, book, chapstick, loose change Favorite thing to do before bedtime? brush teeth, wash face, and play guitar. What is one thing you are grateful for today? my guitar, lucky charms, waffle fries, and my mom Ciao.

Listening to: Lounge Act by Nirvana I hate: PMS, my tiny female doctor with multi-colored facial hair I love: dream translators and chapstick. Hey everyone. Just got home from a "shopping spree" on Central Avenue. Had to go pick up stuff for my brother for when he heads off to American University. Damn, those 3 hourse were pretty boring. So boring I had to resort to picking at the loose skin of the blisters on my left hand. By now, I have blisters of steel on my left hand. It freaks people out. I showed my friend one time. i said, feel your left hand's fingertips. She did. I said, feel my left hand's fingertips. She did. "Holy crap, what the hell is wrong with your hand?" I saw the fuckin' funniest wedding invitation when I got back: "Marriage is a great institution and until now, we weren't ready to be institutionalized..." Then another card with the adress and directions, etc. And then the next card says: "We swear we're not making this up." I bet you've never gotten an invite quite like that. And it had me thinking about my future-wedding, if i ever get married. Here's some ideas I've jotted down (you're all invited by the way, come and crash my wedding) --There will be a DJ, no live music because all of those bands are programmed just to play Sinatra and cheesy crap. --It's gonna be either a costume party or a PJ party. So bring a fluffy pillow. --Married at exactly 2:07. 27 is my favorite number, incase you didn't know. --Won't be that much dancing, cause I don't like to dance. --MENU: Macaroni and cheese Lucky Charms Rice Krispies Apple pie Spaghetti and meatballs Pudding Waffle Fries Chicken noodle soup Sounds good right? well, I might tweak it a bit. Nobody buy me a toaster or a fondu set. Peace, love, and waffle fries. Note to self: dad=biggest asshole on the planet.

Here's another video for you. I like this one: Adios!

Listening to: Come As You Are by Nirvana Something to know before reading: I hate roses and diamonds. I love irises and opals. Hiya, everyone. I woke up freezing in the middle of the night (the thunder woke me). Dammit, that was LOUD! Well, I was too lazy to go and get another blanket, so I just went back to sleep. Then I woke up again at 11:30, and it still looked like it was night outside. It was rainy and mucky and just bleh. I love days like this. These are the days that make other people want to cry and sleep and eat comfort food. Nah, not for me. On these kind of days, I like to breath the air and go on a walk and just take it all in. Beautiful. I read 30 pages of this book called "North by Night" (which has to be done for a summer report-*makes angry face*). It's pretty good, for a historical fiction, ofcourse. *Laughs to herself* and I've been listening to a lot of Dane Cook's stand up comedy lately. Holy crap, I probably haven't laughed that hard in months. This guy is hilarious!

I love you all.

Listening to: Funky Crime by Red Hot Chili Peppers Something to know before you read: I like the old Chili songs better even though I'm only 13, so if anything, i should be obsessing over the Zephyr Song. haha. Hey all. So guess what happened. I made this big long entry about all different kinds of stuff and the after-life and whatnot. Something I wanted to share. Anyways, that got erased when I hit "Submit" and, whaddayaknow, "THIS PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED. ERROR # bla bla bla" and everything was gone forever. So I was just thinking about how much of a terrible lyricist I am. Well, atleast I don't think other people will think so. I guess I only like it cause I understand it and feel it and live it. Besides, I can never get it on paper. There are so many great lines and poetry that I make up in my head when I'm in the car or out somewhere. But when I'm sitting there, pen in hand, paper staring me in the face, it just doesn't come. At any other time, the words will come out like freakin FLYING MONKEYS!, but they dont come when I need to write them down. My poetic creativity is just like Sasquatch. So I will name her that. The stars in the sky Nothing to lose Gimic to buy They come in twos Phases to pass Older than you I know its wrong to worship to you And thats why I don't But they have no clue. You're out of stock, they're buying you up Once you change the lock They're out of luck You wash their minds You got them good All of the time i knew you would. Completely terrible. It makes me sick. I can surely play a song on my guitar but I can't make the words. I am afraid someone will listen to them. I wrote a song once when I was 9. I guess it was pretty good. It was about my dad, how I was sick of him and didnt really like him. Well, I hid it in my draw and it stayed there for a month or so. Until one day my mom saw it when she was cleaning out the summer clothes and putting in the winter ones. I came into my room to see her sitting on my bed, reading this confidential poem that was meant purely to let out my thoughts and feelings. How embarrassing! I was furious. Anyways, it turned out that I lied right to her face, telling her it was just a something I heard in a song and I wrote it down because I liked it and I wanted to memorize it. Lamest lie ever, but being the great mom she is, she totally bought it and brushed it off like nothing. I ripped it up and threw it out. But that wasnt the end of it. I wrote an anti-war song when I was 10, and that's when I stopped writing for the next 3 years. I have to admit, the poem was pretty dark, considering it mentioned the whole war and death and that sort of thing. Next family event, I see that a white piece of paper has been passed around for a while. I couldn't believe it. My mother told me she found it and showed it to everyone. I wanted to cry right there. Sorry I only remember a few lines, the rest I burned. Well you're starting wars I'm thinking hard. I'm hiding far. I want to want to heal scars. You want to start wars. So I stopped writing till I was 13, and now I'm writing crap (as you saw before). It has always been that I am less shy around strangers than I am around my family. It creeps my out that they all know me so well, me not even knowing myself. So if I ever release songs, I would not want them to hear it. I don't want them to hear the things that I feel and want. I don't want them to know me any better than they already do. I love all of you. Please don't go and show this to everyone. I have had enough of that shizzit. Oh and don't laugh at how bad it is. I dont need that.