I can't handle the constant fear of losing her. Each day is getting exponentionally worse., more and more the distance is killing me. Everything seems fine until a song a picture, anything that ends up triggering a memory...then the break start to show them selves and the panic sets in and everything seems to fade away. I love her but the more time passes the less likely it seems that i'll be able to make it. We're planning on getting engaged this summer, and she's started to make plans on how to fit her life around mine... and its so hopeful and beautiful but i dont know if i can make it to then. Every thing tells me that i won't, that i'll break and lose myself competely, that i wont be getting better anymore, and i'm fine with that, she's worth it , but if she knew this she would keep me from staying. I hate how this looks like its gonna end, i think i can make it...i dont know anymore but it doesnt really matter, i'm regaining some stability.