I'm suffocating. Every bit of self-control hurts me more. I'm bottling everything up and I just can't take it anymore. I have no one to confide in. Echter is with his girlfriend all. the. fucking. time. Never a moment for me. Canada keeps secrets from me. I keep secrets from him. As close as we are, I just don't have the history with him to make me willing to confide in him more. Color and Glasses? Forget it, I cant bring myself to talk anything but frivolities with them. With them, it's all jokes or big ideas. Let them get wrapped up in their social changes and activism. I can't match up to their standard. I feel so inadequate. I feel so alone. And I hate myself for it. Just open up, kid. Talk to people. You can solve this problem. Is there something I have to prove by being the strong one? What do I have to prove to myself or anyone?