Now it's my turn to be jealous. I am so happy for you, Schatzi, that Oboe and you finally worked out. But it's leaving me more alone than ever. I told you once before that you're the only person I fully confide in. And now I'm losing you to your new, secret girlfriend. She was jealous of me? She knew it was fake! I'm mad at her, I'm mad at you, I'm mad at me. I'm so possessive of you. No one else is allowed to be friends with you but me, otherwise I'm alone. Understood? God damn it.

Dear Echter (Schatzi), I'm a little annoyed that you told me one thing, so that I kind of counted on it, and then went and changed your plans to go with Music instead. I realize she doesn't want to go alone and I realize that you are obsessed with her. But still. Changing your plans on me at the last minute is a little... jerky. Sorry. And I'm annoyed with me that I'm annoyed at you. It's not like I have exclusive rights to be yourself. * Dear Self, I hate you right now. All you do is complain and waste your own time. Don't you have a life to get on with? Don't you have friends? Stop chasing the boy you won't do anything with. Don't get jealous when he talks to other people and not you. You're not that important. Even if he did like you, you wouldn't do anything with him. You'd resent your parents getting involved in any way, and you'd be afraid that things would fizzle like they did with the last one. That's something you can't afford with this kid. Oh and by the way you're fat. See that nasty roll of flesh that goes over your belt now? Yeah. That. Just go curl up in a corner and feel sorry for yourself. You're basically doing that right now anyway. * * It's been a while since I've felt this bad. And I'm just going to take it out on myself. I can't decide right now what the better idea is -- cry, or hit something.