"The people here don't ever like to sing in their cars/ They just turn their radios up to drown out their thoughts." I love Backseat Goodbye. I've had a continuous headache for like four days. [Not kidding.]

I'm having the worst summer of my life, and I'm taking it out on my best friends. I hate this summer and myself and my family and the school work I have to do.

I bought a $50 iTunes gift card today, because I've been dying to buy more songs... Having over 150 songs on my 'songs to buy list' makes me sad. It got so big I had to move it from Notepad to Word because of the numbering. Search The City seems really brilliant. I should probably look into (a) CD(s) by them. I recently fell back in love with The Academy Is... I'm excited for their new CD, especially if they tour. [I couldn't go to Warped, which STUNK, and I'm so jealous of the kids that went/are going.] Yesterday, my step-dad called right as we were sitting down to dinner to tell me that I got a 4 on my AP exam. I was SO excited. I kind of responded with an "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, are you serious?! Oh my gosh!" which is not entirely in character. :D It literally made my day though. I'm really hungry. I don't know why my journal entries have recently gotten longer. :D It's weird. I hate when people are all "I like ALL music." I'm gonna have to agree with Chuck Klosterman and say that those people really don't like ANY music. I'm running out of money for my CDs, but I guess I have my debit card from my grandmother... The guy at Radioshack was all "WTF CASH?" when I paid for the iTunes card and I was like :). Yeaaah. Random much? Sorry. I'm reluctant to buy that Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger song by Daft Punk, but I kinda want it... I'm not crazy about Daft Punk, and the song sometimes annoys me, but sometimes I'm like in love with it. I dunno. I hate when this happens. Joel Osteen is creepy. =)

I'm sleepy. :) I'm watching movies and being bored while my cousins are swimming. My feet are cold. I was asking my friend for a project to do, and she recommended surveying people. I'd do it, but I'm not outgoing at ALL. I'd be WAY too nervous to like walk up to people. xD I bought 2 CDs and an EP from Hot Topic the other day [there's like nothing else (worth buying) in there...], and I imported them all but haven't gotten around to listening to them yet. I bought Coming To Terms by Carolina Liar, Cute Is What We Aim For's new CD, and The Morning Light's EP, The Sounds of Love. I need to find Cobra Starship CDs somewhere... I need a project and a life and something to do, that's not homework. :D I'm kind of freaking out about a bunch of stuff. [Washington D.C. and summer reading and this camping trip with the neighbors [who I've met ONCE]. My neck and back hurt. That's pretty normal though. Aw, I think I just scared my cousin away. Or bored the heck out of her. Sorry, Maddy! ... I don't know if that's how you spell her name, but that's okay. I have to pee, and I'm insanely bored. Facebook is obnoxious. I don't WANT to invite my friends to add this. Or anything relatively close to that. Gah. I'm tired and I miss my family and my friends and I should be reading but I'm not. And I just kind of am miserable. Okay, I'm done. :)

It is terribly selfish to want to see my family? I keep wanting to cry, but I can't because my sister's sleeping in my room. I'm not a "let's cry in front of people" person. I just - I just want this summer to be over.

Not so sure about the biking thing at this point. I miss everything more than I thought possible. I want to go home this weekend, just for a day. Warped Tour... I need my face stuff and my driving permit and my friends and my CD store and my life. And I'm so jealous of these people. Let me fucking see my family [who I haven't seen since the funeral and used to see every summer] for more than 3 days. You don't understand. You haven't been cut off from everyone on a side of your family because your step-sister hates your aunt. Let me have what you have. I'm just feeling a little more miserable than I should be. I'm just feeling a little more lonely than I should be. I'm just feeling a little more empty than I should be.