I have to write an essay about a play and study for my AP exam, but I'm updating this instead. Why? Because I get bored and distracted way too easily. I need more music, but I don't have time to check out bands right now. I already have 3 CDs I want... Dressed Up Like Dreams by Backseat Goodbye, Living Well is the Best Revenge by Midtown, and the soundtrack for Dan In Real Life. =) And Never Meet Your Heroes by A Farewell Rescue, but I've already ordered/paid for that one, so it doesn't count. *dances*

I talked to one of my not-so-close friends today for like an hour, and she asked me things that I didn't want to answer and I told her things she didn't want to hear. Overall, I think she doesn't understand me. But whatever. I don't get why so many kids think they're misunderstood. Someone should explain that to me. Also. I need to make that screamo-friend relatively soon, because it's been bothering me for over a year. I feel kinda bad for making friends with somebody just so they'll sing for me though. Gaaah. It would be way useful to have a friend that could drive and lived near me too. Actually, just having friends that lived near me would be brilliant. The kids in my neighborhood are just gross or don't exist. And I saw some of my classmates at Smoothie King on Friday and I was all "NOT YOU PEOPLE." At least one of the kids had to have recognized me, because we made eye contact and I'm in his advisory. So. And one of the other kids was just like looking at me funny. Like "you look familiar; WTF are you?" funny. Yup. Not my favorite thing ever. My sister and I watched like 6 hours of America's Next Top Model today. That show gets so old so fast. I stopped paying attention after like the first two episodes... Gah. We also watched Dan In Real Life. I liked it, but I've seen better movies. Whatever. I rented Anastasia and I really wanna watch that now. =) I won't have time tomorrow or the next day or the next or the next or the next [etc.] so that sucks. A lot. It's really quite pleasant except for the smell. I should go to bed instead of surfing the internet, considering it's 4:30 AM. I liked this three day weekend, but it went by way too quickly.

People that smash guitars are douchebags. I love photography for some reason. Especially black and white. I just find a lot of it really beautiful and fascinating. I mean, I appreciate art, and I find a lot of pieces really pretty also, but I just like photography so much more. And I've been in a photography mood recently. I want to be in the darkroom. I want to be out taking pictures. Gaaah. Well, I'm planning on going to get ice cream with my friend and my sister, and I'm taking my Canon, so we'll see. [First, I need to find some b&w film...]

Today, I went to the music store and ordered Never Meet Your Heroes by A Farewell Rescue. When I told the guy that runs the store what the title of the CD was, he laughed and said, "Yeah, you never want to meet your heroes. They usually end up being jerks." I didn't know how to reply to that, mostly because I don't have heroes. But it reminded me of meeting bands. I respect those guys quite a lot, and when they suck, it's hard for me to listen to their music. It almost makes me want to NOT meet them. Like, avoid them. Gah, I don't know. Talking to the guy that works at the music store was really awkward today, and it almost never is. Huh.

I'm just so so tired. In multiple ways. Like, physically and emotionally and mentally. I don't want to deal with any of it anymore. Gah. Do people blog for attention? I honestly don't think I do. I dunno why I do it. Maybe I subconciously do it for attention? Gaaah.

I saw my old horseback riding teacher today, and I honestly almost started crying. I was having a really hard time talking because of it. I miss it so much... I miss a lot of things from last year, actually. Like, miss to the point of crying over it. I saw my English teacher from last year for the first time in almost a year [she retired], and she asked if I was having a good year. I lied and said yes, like I'm expected to. You can't say no to that question, especially not to teachers. Even if they're ex-teachers. I started randomly singing today, and my friend's like "Why are you singing Nickleback?" and I'm like "Wha...? I was just singing random things." Ha.

I hate matrices. So fucking much. It's not that they're difficult per se, but they take SO LONG. My sister made Kool-Aid, and I drank some with dinner like 3 hours ago... And I can still taste it. x( [AND I BRUSHED MY TEETH! WTF!?] It's like vanilla yogurt except sweeter and persistant, and it's gross. The Hush Sound is my newest obsession. I've seen 'em twice now, met 'em once, and listened to their new CD about a billion times. I love how lost Darren was when they were all signing stuff and taking pictures. He's like looking around like "WTF TOO MANY KIDS" and Bob had to keep saying "DARREN, WE'RE TAKING A PICTURE." So then he'd turn around, lean in, and smile, and then proceed to look lost again. Haha. I found that hilarious. He even sounded lost when I was talking to him. He was just like "What's going on...?" And I'd be like "You're supposed to be taking a picture, man." Okay, sorry, I'm done. I could go on forever about bands and concerts and the boys in bands and the bands' crew members, but I won't. =) I have SO much homework. SOMUCH. I'm really easily distracted, but that's not ADD. That's just me not caring. It's warm, and I have to go do my matrices math homework and my DBQ practice worksheet. I update this too often, but I think it may be because I absolutely adore this font. Don't ask me why.

Me: Which Anthony? ---: From Smosh? Me: Oh. Me: Yeah, his hair's cool. Me: He can pull off the long[er] hair. ---: I think he uses a body double. Me: ... WTF? ---: There's an Anthony with short hair. Me: Uh, yeah... He cut it... Me: And it's growing back... Honestly, kid. Do you not understand that hair GROWS? ---: I wonder how he grows his hair so fast. Me: It's been like four months. Me: If you get it trimmed, it grows more... ---: Does he use some hair product that makes his hair grow longer? Me: Why would you randomly think that...? Me: They don't put videos out very often. WTF!? This is why I hate YouTube, man. People are just STUPID.

Wake up at one in the afternoon, eat a [slightly stale] chocolate chip muffin, shower, watch videos on YouTube to waste time, talk to a friend on the phone about plans, sit in a car for an hour, sit in the same car for twenty more minutes trying to figure out whether we have to fill the parking meter or not, sell two tickets [to scalpers] for $20 [basically losing $60], find the friends at the venue, wander around the city looking for a bathroom, get lost in a hotel and freak out the staff while looking for their bathroom, return to the venue, get in trouble for loitering in the wrong place, wait in line, enter the venue, buy a bag of Fritos and two bottles of water, push our way for Phantom Planet, wait, watch The Hush Sound, try to find them after the set and almost kill a random boy by sliding in gravel, return to the friends by shoving, watch Motion City Soundtrack while complaining about the insanely TALL people in front of us with another girl, meet them after their set and have them sign shoes/take pictures, return to the stage by "looking for our friend James" AKA lying to a crowd of people, talk to a random man about one of the friend's glasses, watch Panic[!] at the Disco while screaming, look for Panic[!] after their set, buy a The Hush Sound shirt for a different friend, talk to random people in line for The Hush Sound, have The Hush Sound sign said shirt and shoes, take a picture with The Hush Sound, meet with ride/friends and leave the venue, wait outside the Honda tour bus for fifteen-twenty minutes, lie to a guy that worked for the tour about it being my birthday, search for Panic[!]'s actual tour bus, talk to various Panic[!] crew members, high-five a bunch of random people, get annoyed by some guy with ugly sunglasses and designer jeans who moves his hand behind his back to avoid the high-five, talk to twelve year olds about how it's gross to give their phone number to Panic[!] with some crew member, tell crew member to tell Panic[!] they should have played Build God, Then We'll Talk, return to ride/friends and wait for the other friends' ride, annoy people while waiting, return to the car, pick up Whataburger, sit in the car for another fifty minutes, drop off one of the ride's friends, return home, chat with Mom about the concert, throw away Whataburger meal remains, change into pajamas, pee, brush teeth, open laptop, type random entry. Gah, today was awesome. Even if I was hungry and thirsty for about 7 hours. =)

I've been in a bad mood like all week. [I blame the sickness and the 96 straight hours with one person I can barely spend 45 minutes with.] I complain about a bunch of stuff, but I've been thinking about him for like thirty minutes now. Jesus. I've been building this effing wall for five years, man. Five years. And I've never even TALKED to him. Sure, I've known him for like... ten years or some crap like that? I don't talk to those people. Or socialize much with them. At all. So, WTF?! I hate being a teenager. Honestly, man. I don't even LIKE teenagers. I like adults and little kids. Kids my age, not so much. [Maybe that's because they don't like me?] I've been working on this whole "not feeling" deal for five to seven years. And I randomly decide that I like him, and the whole thing just flies out the window? ...!? I didn't even realize that I've been blocking/ignoring emotions for years until this year. I didn't feel bad - I didn't really feel ANYTHING. Well, last year was awesome. Very possibly the best years of my life. But whatever. This year sucks, and I want to go back to the whole filtered feelings deal. Sorry. I think I just see emotions as a weakness.