i need to cry so bad i wish i could cry about what i've done i can only listen to cat power and read horror stories of abandoned animals before i realize the gap of pain isn't really being filled i never thought i'd be one to feel numb, being so sensitive and all i just hope i don't lose my humanity this is just a self-defence mechanism, right? i'm just suppressing pain because i can't handle it right now, right? i'm not empty, right? right?