Ok, so I've just finished reading this series of comics called JTHM. In JTHM, the main character manages to train himself to not need anything, to not feel anything, "Kill my stomach if im hungry! Remove my want if im lonely! Tear of my genitals if im aroused!" Well, my lifes not too flash at the moment, My girlfriend who i love with all my heart, left me for a f(r)iend, or atleast he was posing as one. All of my friend group left me aswell, Leaving me with absolutely no one to rely on or confide in, except you, complete strangers, who hopefully care. So i took some advice from my comic, I tried to desensitise myself to the point where i didnt care that i was alone and hurt. I watched violent movies until i threw up and shaked, to train myself to not care. Videos of slow beheadings, or bungy jumps going wrong. But it didnt work, I still loved my ex too much. So now i feel hate for ever letting myself open up, anger at everyone who has left me, regret for everything ive ever done, and it just wont go away. So i decided that the easiest and most controlling emotion is anger. I listened to a lot of metal and aggrotech, Trying to drown out love with hate, but i still stay awake at night wondering what could have been. Oh well, ill keep trying... wish me luck