sooo i was texting taylor and we had been doing that annoying thing where we argue over who loves eachother most.... and then he was talking about how i shouldnt go to china and how he needs me.. T= taylor M= me T: but i need you here M: why do you need me...i dont get it for some reason T: cus i love you M: i love you too. but i need you more than you need me. T: noo M:yeahhuh T: how so? M: well youre really funny and nice. and youre more special to me that you realize. T: aww thanks sweetie. hmmm ohhkay he might come over after school tomorrow funnn yay im excited im gonna miss him so fucking much though :l

lol my last entry was retarded....i was bored oh well sooo im kinda getting confused again about taylor :l like...idk its so confusing hes a really....sexual...person and he kinda talks to everyone in a flirty way [hes bi] soooo idk. if it was anyone else, i would think they liked me fersure. hmmm he hugs me, kisses me on the cheek/forehead, tells me he loves me, and always wants to spend weekends with me. hmmm. last like november he said that he thought he liked me and his cousin said that he thought that he liked me... but things have changed alot since then. we know eachother so much better now. :l i wish i knew i could ask him. but theres always a chance of ruining everything and making things awkward. and i DO NOT want to do that. a;osdhf IDK

LIKES -s'mores flavored pop tarts -cameras -roses -coffee -sparkles -animals -the woods -walking -pokemon ruby version -plastic jewelry -movie theaters -cute fluffy kittens -texting -cupcakes -colored duct tape -the fall -music -black and white -purple ink -graffiti -books -hotels -rain -airplanes -chapstick -astronomy -neon -stuffed animals -art -friends -not getting caught DISLIKES -falling out of love -fights -being awkward -large dogs -annoying small children -traffic -things that don't match -critical people -boys that are pansies -adults -saying the wrong thing -athletics -saying "ily" instead of "i love you"

ohhmmmgee my dads a fucking spaz god i hate him anyways my mom thinks im a whore now. lmao. yesterday will and taylor came over to chill and we started watching across the universe in my living room and like me and taylor were sharing a blanket. my mom kept like walking casually by and stuff. and then she called me in her room and was all like rawrr you guys shouldnt be sharing a blanket its inappropriate, you need to stop sharing a blanket or they are going home. wtf. and then like taylor and will kept talking to my mom. like i dont want anyone to talk to her. they will tell her too much and ill get questioned about it. whatever. it was fun i guess. not my best night though... friday i leave for china. im so unprepared. whatever. ill figure it out. went shopping with will today. i got a good deal on a couple shirts from wet seal. and i got a hoodie from zumiez. those damn hoodies are too expensive. i dont see how people can have like 5 $60 hoodies. uhmmm thats pretty much it... ellen is gonna break up with kevin for tom. she has a bad sense of character in guys. kevin is wayyy better than tom. whatever, she doesnt know what shes getting herself into. i kinda feel sorry for her. yeah. ill write later.

hi so today was okay. but all the sudden all these rumors are starting :l not cool. so today tori came up to me after homebase and she said that jordan likes me. haha. jordan is a friend of zach's. i guess zach doesnt like me anymore. whatever. i just hope jordan doesnt ask me out... but yeah after lunch tori came up to me again and was saying that fred [the asian kid. im not racist, im just trying to give any possible readers some insight lol] told whitney [melissa's like slave] that me and taylor did stuff...i dont excatly know what he told her. maybe that we just kissed? maybe that we made out? maybe that we had sex since he almost spent that night? haha no way would that ever happen but whatever. so whitney told melissa that something happened. lemme tell you about melissa. she acts like shes the shit but shes just a bitch. and she has this 16 year old boyfriend that she brags about yet everyone knows hes cheating on her, even though he goes to a different school. but yeah all this drama happened last year with her, will, jackie, and other people. shes really power hungry. and kinda backstabbing. but honestly, i dont doubt that shes been backstabbed herself her whole life. whatever. basically, i dont want to have to deal with melissa. so yeah fred told whitney who told melissa that something happened between me and taylor. so melissa and whitney talked to will about it and like he was just like ohh he just kissed her on the cheek, no big deal. and so yeah. jackie was i guess sorta mad at will cus he didnt tell her that taylor kissed me. but its cool. the good thing about rumors getting started about you is that its not your fault and you can get pity out of people that know you're innocent. its a sad fact but its true. soo yeah. i dont have school on friday, score. but i have to do a bunch of work for OM cus we have regionals on saturday. and the next friday i leave for china. ill be gone for 2 weeks. mmm yeah so ill write later.

anyone who might actually read my journal should tell me what they think of me in their own journal just sayin... do it! lmao

what the fuck was my last entry about? hahahaha thats too funny! tom as more than a friend? no way. disregard that last entry...i would delete it but i find it halarious. but yeah. today is my birthday. yipee. the birthday party was on saturday. i must say, it was pretty much the best day of my life. well early saturday morning i had to go over to school and play in the percussion ensemble really quick. we got the superior rating. whatever that was annoying... then later jackie, will, tori, taylor, and i met up at the upscale outdoor shopping center [that wont be named here]. it was kinda getting annoying cus like will and tori were being clicky and jackie and taylor were being clicky so i kinda had to mingle between the two groups. we ate a p.f. changs. i met taylor's mom. she totally hates me cus i guess she thinks taylor and kelso broke up and he had a hicky and he was sorta forced to tell her i gave it to him...? even though it was kelso...but whatever. taylor told me that he had wanted to get me a real live baby chick for my birthday but the people at the pet store said that you had to have an icubator so he couldnt get one. but he got me a stuffed chicken. awww. lol but what was i supposed to do with a baby chicken? haha whatever. so yeah. then we went to the yarn store. haha taylor is so like obnoxious its halarious. then we found a little old looking british telephone booth...that we named little britain...idk. then we went to saks fifth avenue. taylor almost got us kicked out cus he was trying on girls clothes in the dressing room. lol. sooo then jackie went home and the rest of us [tori, will, me and taylor] went back to my moms house. we have these weird hippie-ish chairs in our back yard and like taylor and i were sharing one while will and tori were sharing the other. it was awesome. the weather was perfect so we decided to go to the park. i swear i felt like i was on something...i was just like out of it. but it was great. so taylor was being reeally flirty and like putting his hands around my waist and stuff. alsdfaosdfh. and like idk just the way he stands so close to me is just so perfect. and we even found a beer keg...we didnt drink any, instead will decided to get some on tori haha. then we got back to my house and tori left. me, will, and taylor sat in my backyard some more again. but we were ignoring will big time cus he was on the phone with tori. taylor kept saying i was on crack cus i said "woah like it wasnt dark but like now it is". lol. thennn just me and taylor went upstairs to my room and couldnt figure out how to work my computer :l idk. and so we just sat there making interesting conversation. but it was so natural and perfect. then someone found silly string, will joined us, and we found ourselves in my game room. will was still on the phone....idk taylor found this weird spanking paddle in my game room. like why the hell do i have a spanking paddle? oh well. haha it was funny though. then taylor found this soft yet small pillow and wanted me to lay down on it with him so i gladly did. it was like 15 minutes of staring into eachothers eyes. that sounds corny. ehh. well whatever. then we ended up playing a video game called champions of norath. great game, only we totally sucked at it. then he kept hugging me. it was cute. so then we remembered taylor left his phone downstairs and his mom had called him like a bajillion times. idk i ended up asking my mom if he could spend the night...and she actually said yes. but his mom said no :[ too bad. so then will left. and me and taylor continued to play that video game. and then he had to go home :[ but he hugged me a lot. and he kissed me on the cheek and forehead :] everyone says he totally likes me fersure. christine is being a bitch about it and is like you need to tell kelso. whatever. idk what to do. im just gonna go along with things...they will straighten themselves out eventually.