the day before the show is always the absolut' worst. I always cant sit still, its a certain nervousness, crossed with excitement, spliced, with a bit of reverance. It feels quite weird actually. maybe im just tired all the time that could be it i spose. I went and got some new threads for the show, just a new pair of jeans and a new shirt, the mighty Opeth, i got one with the deliverance cover on the back which suits me coz its one of my fav's. i also got some new skins for the drummer, which was needed!! New strings for my guitari will have to get tonight, then restring and polish my guitar. I also have to organise the toe ball on my car. we need to take a trailer but my car doesnt have a toe ball we went to the reckers and got one but now we have to put it on. something to do with no tread on it so we gota get someone to put some tread on it. Practice at 12:30 today which is going to mean another half day at work. im sure itll piss some people off but, i am dedicated to the profession i have chosen to apply myself to. ok so recap on things to do 1.car toe ball 2.practice 3.strings (polish guitar) not much really eh! we are also introducing two new songs this weekend. one is showcasing our thrashy side thats called Vulture, if i was to describe it i would say, chimira crossed with Metallica (puppets era). The other is nameless atm, i would say its deicide crossed with arch enemy? somethin like that. This will be the first gig without any covers so you could say this is going to be the very first official show for us. thats it for now ill post back on sunday to tell you guys how it went. and maybe elaborate on the nitty gritty. if i can find a way to post pics ill do that aswell

Its a lovely day today and i am in an office doing a shittie desk job. Four walls, all painted the same boring old yellow, creeping inward every couple of seconds, until i have a smoke at 10:00 usually then they reset themselves. I was also late today which is no surprise. I usually am. I wait for everyone to leave the house so i can get up and have at least the morning to myself to wake up how i want to. No one should rush in the mornings we should all just take it easy. I mean which one would be the more enjoyable one? rush? or Take your time and have a good morning and put some meaning back into a worthless lifetime. just my thoughts

Im just going to fill you in on the nitty gritty. i wont mention the name of my band because these are journal entries not a marketing strategy. We are a 4 Piece, i sing and play guitar, Jamma is rythem guitarist, Bill is the bassist, and jimmie is the drummer. Jimmie is my brother, weve been playing together for as long as i can remember. We started off jammin with metallica songs and some nu-metal seeing as that was cool at the time. after a couple of years our taste started to become alot heavier with cradle of filth, deicide (although we never really got into them that much it was cool trying to be as fast as them) and such. When i was thirteen i was writing songs. none of them were that decent but at the time i thouth they were the shit!! lol. i remember the lyrics for one called trapped, the chorus was terrible, something like. "im so tired of people so tired of people inside, please get away i feel like im in a trap" id like to know what my parents were thinking when they heard that :). when i was about fifteen me and my brother formed our first band we were rock with twist. i was always into making music a bit different, we were named QC and we had mild success for a small time band. we entered a battle of the bands and won, just about every award. I remember it was in the weekly newspaper,second page saying "QC scoups pool at battle of the bands" it was a triumphant moment in our history. that band finished around and it woudnt be long until a new band was formed. we still were with the rock thing, mostly because it was easier and metal seemed like a big step at that time. (although we all were heavily into metal!!!) the new band consisted of the bassist from QC and a friend that we had at the time which is jamma, me and my bro. We were plotting along doing small shows with small crowds (we still do small shows with small crowds) but that ws enough for us at the time. in about 2004(late) our bassist left and we had to find a new one, and we did pretty quickly (Bill) we didnt wast any time we got straight into it doing our rock thing. In early 2005 (i think) we (myself, Jimmie, Jamma, and Bill) were to undergo a change in sound. we were all influenced by the one killswitch engage, and the metal core scene was thriving. i remember we were at another battle of the bands at a neighbouring town Whyalla, and we say this band this drowning misery, they were great, blasts, distortion shrieking screaming, and from that day i decided that i finally had the balls to stand up on a stage and do that. (i felt prettty embarrassed to scream as it wasnt very flattering) so from 2005 onwards we were officially a metal band, no more rock for us. happy times. we were still doing small gigs with no pay, we were doing evrything from the little money we had. also around 2006 alcohol started to make its prescence known, aswell as tobaccco and weed. i remember i would go out every week end and get absolutely smashed. buy a carton a pack of ciggies and go to parties and get free weed. I was (still am but not so self destructive) a big drinker. you know those dudes at parties that are just smashed, theyre funny cunts but annoying at the same time. that was me. occasionally i would have way too much and start to be an absolut cunt. anyway, each time i would hear of a new band i would listen to them and think, this shit has been done before many times over. Thats when my hunger to be something different began. I would always experiment with different things, but i didnt want the band to be so different that it would remain in our world and no where else. Its funny ever since i was in school i was telling myself that i would be in a band and i would make it, i would be a superstar. i wouldnt need to work a job that i hated i would just be doing what i love, playing guitar and making music. i think that may be why im a little dillusional now!! (or i could just have a dream) I think Late 2005 I broke up with my long time girlfriend, she was sweet but she was no longer happy with me, I was a wreck ( i was only 17) o loved her like nothing else. we were together for just about two years. It was then that i started to feel self concious. not long after that i gained another girlfriend and we were happy it was fun, but i still developed a lot of feelings for her. around the same time our first bassist left was the end of school for me i graduated and around that time my lady friend would leave. all of my friends left, and i was left with my band. I started to feel deppressed. i started to become reclusive. and i started my addictions. ill leave it there for now coz that is ashit load of info right there. please dont comment if your going to tell me how much i suck! coz its useless. only comment if you have a question or you have something nice to say thanks people

Four days until, my band has another show. i love doin shows, this one is extra cool because its not in our home town, or in a shed. Altough shed gigs are always brutal as fuck, its always good not to do em! Ok so this gig was put together by another band in a town about an hour away from us called Port Pirie. Its not a bad place, but its not paradise. weve played there before, got a decent crowd for the rest of the bands, and coz we were headlining by the time we came on it was just all the musos rockin out and all the party people were outside. (the venue was a hall at aracing ground) So about 4 songs into our usual 9-10 song set the cops rock up and tell us to shut it down, we keep playing for as long as wwe can before the cops decide to get physical. so this time around in Pirie we look to Kick that whole town into overdrive.

im fairly new here although i have been looking around for about a year, refferencing different things and confirming my ideas or disproving them about what certain songs are about. im not too sure what to write in this journal but im sure after reading this someone will point me in the right direction or ill find out on my own by reading others journal entries. ill explain a little about myself and my interests. I am 19 m and live in australia, I Love metal, I do have a leniancy to things that are catchy. If it has some sort of groove, or riff that is just fantasticly good, ill most probably honour the "catchy" code. thats all from me for now make me feel welcome please ;)