If I had a super power right now, it would be the ability to shoot anger out of my hands in the form of flesh eating acid and my parents would be the first targets. On the only night since school started that I have absolutely free from band, homework, work, chores, etc...they have decided that they are going to a concert in LA and that I can't be trusted to stay the night by myself, so I'm spending the night at my GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE!!. I almost screamed. Because first of all, why the hell can't they trust me? They've never caught me doing anything...bad! I'm a good kid on average. It's almost pathetic. Second of all, I do have SIBLINGS living here with me! My older sister is old enough to drive, for god sakes. Third of all, Why do I have to go to my GRANDMOTHER's HOUSE? I told them that if they were going to make me leave, then I could spend the night at a friend's house. But no. My parents intend for me to spend saturday night miserable sleeping on my poor grandma's couch. I think they really just want us out of the house so they can screw...but if they didn't want kids around they shouldn't have had any. Or they could just book a hotel room. Okay. Sorry about the rant. About the football game....we won. 35 to effin 0. :) And yeah, i got to see my old band geek friends. Oh how I miss them so. Everybody is pretty much the same, except Zach. His hair's longer. I personally like it short....but not my choice, of course. He looks good either way. They all had to leave too soon. And all those memories and feelings I worked so hard burying this summer, were all dug up and scattered for all to see. I felt like sobbing the minute Z walked up to us. I looked at my feet the rest of the time. But still, good to see old faces. Trying to race through this entry before my mind starts whirling. Just thought I'd update a bit before i forget. Song Stuck in my Head: Swing Swing - All American Rejects "swing, swing swing from the tangles of my heart is crushed by a former love can you help me find a way to carry on again"

Columbia Pioneers 1998-2005 I've been looking at all my old yearbooks. That song by Nickelback - Photograph keeps playing in my mind and it annoys me. Weird remembering what all your old classmates used to look like in elementary school and comparing their faces as you walk by them in high school. Then. Now. For example: Jacob L. For as long as I've known him, Jacob has always had his greasy blond hair styled into a bowl cut. Like every 3 months his mother took some kitchen ceramic bowl, stuck it on the poor kids head and cut around the edges. But the other day I saw him at Liberty Park and no more bowl cut! His hair was cropped short and i could still see flakes of dandruff but he still looked different :) We have a football game this friday against the school all my friends go to. They'll probably bring their band too. Which means it will be incredably humiliating if we make a sucky halftime performance. I better see Zach. And he better talk to me. Or I'll be pissed of. Haven't see him in months. :( Going to Fresno to meet family. Funnn. Check out this song: She Is The New Thing - The Horrors.

Konstantine by Something Corporate makes the memories come back crystal clear. Why does it have to be a sad song? It's beautiful. Yet it makes me feel ugly. The song remind me of people who have left my life already They aren't here with me. Ghosts They shouldn't be drifting in my thoughts anymore. But apparently I'm not strong enough to stop their voices, their faces, their presence from clouding my head. There are plenty of people that deserve to be remembered for their loyalty and kindness, but my mind is always drifting to that corner and unlocks that cage. I have enough to be happy about, I shouldn't be feeling like this. It's selfish and it's self centered. But where the hell is the cure? If awful memories make me feel like shit then why don't good memories make me better??? Music can be both poison and medicine packed into one song. It's a bittersweet symphony.