BEGIN STORY: I was in a tapas bar a few days ago & ran into a male-female Irish couple. The male, Conor (he spelled it in an email address for me), is a graduate philosophy student at UT Austin and his “friend” from Ireland named Granya (WTF? Beowolf? I didn’t ask.) was visiting him for just a few days & they came down to San Antonio to check it out. They stated they were just friends although they were going to share a king-size bed in some hotel where they were sleeping that night which confused me. I think they were fucking but they (aka Granya) wanted to define the relationship as something else which confused me even more. Anyway we had a blast for about 2-3 hours talking & drinking although I was a little disgruntled/pissed because the place after all was a tapas bar and the bartender, Christine, told me the restaurant had shut down for a few months so you couldn’t eat anything. I talked with Conor about something I had seen in a Chomsky video (although I didn’t mention it was from Chomsky. . .I wanted him to think I thought it up myself) that I believe it is important to understand both sides of an issue (truthfully I thought of that before I saw the Chomsky video) and that (here is the Chomsky part although u may have thought or heard this before) most people read/watch things to confirm their own pre-existing opinions. The group agreed with me. Anyway I brought up gun-control and I asked Granya if they had it in Ireland. Granya said yes and while we talking. . . .Conor said that while he was pro-gun control he could see the other side as well based upon a conversation he had with “an intelligent female friend who was Republican” and then he said something about “collective action” and . . . . .Granya fucking flipped out! She started saying that basically you can only be for it or against it and that he was just doing it to “ingratiate himself with the Texans” and I noted that was an “ad hominem” and that she just attacked his character, not the issue which in my view is hitting below the belt and Conor wins the debate but I didn’t want to interrupt. Conor kept on saying something about “collective action” but I don’t think any of us outside of Conor gave a shit. When I say “us outside of Conor” I mean myself, Granya, and the bartender Christine who was pretty with B or C cups & I am certain other more admirable qualities. . . STORY TEMPORARILY INTERRUPTED RIFF “A” COMING: (actually now that I think about it I did not appreciate how Christine put on pretensions of “literacy” reading some contemporary shit piece of fiction called “Middlesex” [which was an Oprah book club selection apparently] about a hermaphrodite raised up as a girl who wants to become a guy (confusing) & I was offended that she had no fucking idea what an exposition was [only it sounds like the first fucking 200 pages. . .boring shit. . .although I question Christine’s structural analysis] when she claimed to be “literate”. . .I realize this sounds condescending to some but I believe I am justified. If u disagree & give a shit & can reach me. . .be prepared to debate. . .or I may not give a shit. . . . . .also u might be justified but I might be too obtuse to understand where you’re coming from. . . . . .also other possibilities.). . . .also I did not like it when everybody basically around me crinkled their noses when I bragged/talked/conveyed that I watch more television/internet than I read books. . .but that is their system. RIFF “A” ENDED: BACK TO STORY . . .I would later discover if I could convince Christine to give me her phone number & take her out for drinks &/or dinner (She shot me down stating she had a boyfriend. I then told her that she misunderstood me. . .that I was homosexual and just wanted to have lunch with her & perhaps discuss clothing and hairstyles and she replied “I don’t believe you.” I wished she would have believed me. I did not think people had “straight-dar” versus “gay-dar”.). I would like for people to have no fucking idea what my sexual orientation is so that I could get girls who yearn to be “fag-hags” & have sincere boyfriends to go out with me under the pretense that I am gay & that they have inadvertently converted my orientation via their feminine wiles so that I may have an opportunity to “stick it in” if you will. I consider myself honest. Mostly I consider myself honest because I read somewhere in order to be a good liar you have to lie economically. . .also you have to remember the lie because if the person you lied to asks you about it next week you have to recall the lie & not go “huh?” because then they might realize u r lying. . . .also I believe u actually can be truly honest & lie occasionally in order to get laid especially for “literate” B/C cups who/that u try & understand & listen to them. If u shut the fuck up & do not say anything u can begin to appreciate who they are (libidinous/lecherous/horny). . . . . .also u can (after u listen to them) make assumptions or valid judgments about them in order to manipulate or influence them. Granya kept going on. She said “You are either for it or against it!” Conor asked something like “What if there is somebody in ur place breaking in with a gun?” Granya said something like “It has to be done & I will die for this!” Frankly I don’t own a gun but if somebody broke into my place & Granya was nearby I was thinking that hopefully she could run screaming nobly in front of the guy so that she could draw his fire while I was taking aim (if I had a gun) or calling 911 or figuring out how to get out of the house via a window if I was just by myself and Granya would actually feel compelled to do what she said. I think Granya might be full of shit & not know it. . . .thank you fantasy noble dead Granya . . . .wherever u would be in some form of an afterlife atop a cumulus cloud (Irish=Catholic or Protestant plus they said some form of Christianity during the conversation) learning to play a harp where it’s not too hot. Fact: Clouds block sunlight. Assumption: so if u r on top of a cloud there r no fucking clouds to block sunlight so it is hotter than down on earth . . . .however per the movie The Hulk I recall that it also looked pretty fucking cold as u get higher up so this is only what I can conclude/derive. . . Perhaps there is some supernatural temperature control that overrides physical laws. Actually I would have preferred not to have dealt with him in any way whatsoever but that would probably not be the case if it were to actually fucking happen. I still like her because we all laughed for a while. I consider myself both "deep & shallow" (Hollywood Homicide)

riff [ rif ] Definition: 1. series of notes: a short, often repeated series of notes in pop music or jazz that forms a distinctive part of the accompaniment