This is so cool. I didn't know I could get on here from school. AMAZING! So, I'm pretty damn bored. There's nothing to do. School gets out in like 30 minutes and I'm so fucking bored. OMG I just felt a vibration (get your minds outta the gutter). It's C!! He and I have been texting on and off for the whole day. He's still acting kinda weird about something and it's killing me that IDK what it is. Damn! Well I don't have anything to say.... Sorry people I know you're disappointed in me. You won't get to read about my interesting life (yeah right). Well I'm gonna get the fuck off here b/c I'm gonna read. Yes, I said "read". Contrary to popular belief, I DO read. Song:"Cold As You" by Taylor Swift

I wanna do a quiz. I see one on almost everyone's journal. I'll probably do another one later. Initials: B.I. Hair Color: Brown and Black.. ew Hair Length: Medium and STRAIGHT Eye Color: Brown Height: 5'4 (I might be stretching it a little) Skin Color: Tan Piercings: Two in each ear and when I get skinnier, I'll get my belly button pierced Music: Pretty much anything EXCEPT jazz, and classical. I HATE shit like that! Boring! Top 10 favorite songs: Conspiracy-Paramore Hollywood's Not America-Ferras Hold The Door-Armor For Sleep Dear Maria,Count Me In-All Time Low Sorrow-Flyleaf Franklin-Paramore We Are Broken-Paramore How To Save A Life-The Fray Picture To Burn-Taylor Swift Wasted-Carrie Underwood Favorite things to do: Text and read. Favorite sport: Softball, I used to play, but quit b/c a dumbass cavewoman on the team. I LOVE baseball. Guys in tight sportswear attracts me, what can I say?! Been in love?: IDK, i guess so Did that person love you back?: Hell no!:( Damn him!!!! Ugh, next question Ever had sex?: Nope, I wish Okay, Je suis finis. Ha! I love french!

I am once again being consumed with sadness. I haven't texted C all day and I'm trying to keep myself busy so I won't text him. I'm hoping that he'll text me first, but that's not likely. He's a guy, they're stupid sometimes... Wait-all the time. Next week H, F, V, and I are going to see "Prom Night". That movie looks great. In a way I'm hoping that F will get so scared that she won't go to the prom with her dumbass boyfriend. I've been trying to talk C into going to see that movie with me, but so far he still says "no" b/c he doesn't like to go to the movies. Bullshit! I really don't know what to do. I was reading a pamphlet last night on depression. I have most of the symptoms. Hmmmmm....... What would my friends think if I told them I have depression? Well I can't tell them that b/c I don't honestly know if I have it. In a way I kinda hope I do b/c I would know why I haven't been able to get out of bed lately, why I've been neglecting my schoolwork, not been hanging out with my friends as often, and more shit that I won't get into right now. The only time I don't feel sad/angry/hopeless is when I'm reading. In the past week I've read "Looking For JJ", "Skinny", "Thirteen Reasons Why", "What Happened to Cass McBride", "Smack", and "Doing It". This is gonna sound really cheesy, but here it goes: reading takes me to a different world. A world where I'm too busy getting to know other characters and dealing with their problems to deal with my own... I love reading. I've recently decided to be a writer. I think I'll write teen books, but who knows? Song: "Hold On" by Good Charlotte

Okay here are my updates. Still no boyfriend, don't have my license, still "just friends" with the guy that broke my heart (we talk every day), being stalked by a weird boob obsessed junior, madly in love with the guy that broke my heart, not going to prom, going to after prom, slowly dying from sadness... Now that I've updated everyone I'm gonna tell a story. I really don't like my geometry teacher. He annoys the hell out of me. When he talks, I tune him out and use the "ipod" in my head to 'listen" to music. It's mostly Paramore, Flyleaf, Meg and Dia, and Ferras. (Yes, I know. Extremely random choices). Then when I do listen to him (rarely), I picture him tripping in front of the class and his foot ending up in his eye. I really don't like him. I guess he broke his nose yesterday. When I heard that, I couldn't stop laughing. ;) My friend, F. is dating a senior. He's like robbing the cradle. He's 18, she's 15! Ew! He's not even cute. And he treats her like shit. I really don't like him. Actually, none of my friends like him. He broke her heart 2 weeks ago, and now they're making out in the hallway. It's totally unfair. C broke my heart a little more than a month ago, and we're still "just friends". C wants to kill the boob obsessed guy. Here's why: J (boob guy) carried me through the gym a few days ago. Then (the same day), put me on the wrestling mats and told me to have sex with him. I told C. That made him angry (but he doesn't like me except in a "friend" way...BULLSHIT). Next class period with J; he carries me to the mats after class again and lays ON TOP of me. Holy shit, I freaked out! I immediately told C and he was not a happy camper. That made me feel good. He cares about me, no one cares about me. I love that he cares about me. C wants me to get J to text him so he (C) can kick his ass tomorrow. Oh, C might have an STD. God, why is everything so screwed up? C and I were talking about having sex and now this comes up. His ex called him and told him that she was positive, and then she started blaming him. He got tested a few weeks ago. This might sound really stupid and really weird, but I still want to have sex with him. It's probably not my best idea. Losing my virginity to the guy that wants to be "just friends". But I really trust him. Yeah, he broke my heart, but he cares about me.... Now there are 2 things that are keeping me from being "with" him. 1. He might have an STD. 2. F and I made a deal that we would both "contain our hormones" (her words, not mine) until college,and then we can get with whatever guys we want. Here's the problem with that deal: I really want to be with C. He said he would have sex with me. I NEVER thought any guy would say that to me.......... WOW Okay, I'm now emotionally drained. I'll write later Song: "No Air" by Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown