I'm sure that this year has started off rough. A selfish entry for a once and always selfish person correct? I'm the on sort of left on the outside and nobody knows. My headaches are getting worse and my friends are leaving a little more quickly. Jess is gone Tori is gone everyone is gone. Jen and Ash don't see me falling, and Alex knows I have already fallen. But I have put enough on alex's shoulders, he doesn't need anymore from me. Only something like less than 3 months and I'm out of here. Finally away from these people, and its saddening to say this is the last year we will be friends, but it's true. A new beginning, nobody knows anything about me and I'll keep it that way. " A new improved version of me" a step up from nothing. Well I'm honestly a little glad to leave this place, I'll miss them though. Everyone who I once loved and always will gradually lessening, fading, gone. Anyway V-day sucked. I want to talk to Scott, I want someone to talk to, I want to be happy. I loved you....

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Put your music player on shuffle. 2. Press forward for each question. 3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Situations-Escape The Fate WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE? Forgotten-Linkin Park WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU Hospital-the Used WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU? Empty Walls-Serj Tankjan WHAT DO YOUR EX'S THINK OF YOU? The Impact Of Reason-underOATH probably lmao HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE? Star Crossed-Scary Kids Scaring Kids HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE? It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends-Brigth Eyes Encouraging?..Not Really WILL YOU GET MARRIED? Josie-Blink 182 WILL YOU HAVE KIDS? Snow(Hey oh)-Red Hot Chilli Peppers Rock On xx ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL? Writing on The Walls-UnderOATH It Says I Suck At Life LMAO WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE? Victim-Trapt Thats A No.... WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? Justify-RJa I like it... THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE: The One-Foo Fighters Oh Baby YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE: We're Gonna Have Us a Champagne Jam-Chiodos WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME? Control-Puddle Of Mudd WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD? Inevitable-Anberlin So True WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING? Hey Ho, Lets Go-the Ramones bahaha hell yeah WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER? Pathetic Ordinary-Alesana YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING? Approach The Bend-the Audition HOW WILL I DIE? Decembers-Hawthorne Heights wow THE SONG THAT YOU'LL HAVE AS THE TITLE? You Better Be Alone-After the Tagedy

Today is one of those Saturdays that is oddly quiet and you spend with your family, even if you don't actually spend time with them. Well today is that day and He is dying in the hospital. I feel bad considering his only family consists of two people and that nobody could do anything before. Oxygen is pushed into his lungs but they refuse to intake anymore. A struggle for a purpose becomes a tragedy of life and death. I ask myself if he had dreams when he was younger, were they big? Only now I think of how he is lying in a bed, surroundings are unfamiliar and silent tears fall from his eyes as he remembers the dreams he had so long ago. The dreams that were never reached, the dreams that were lost along the way...

Have you ever heard the phrase, " Don't kill the messanger" I like thats phrase. It is my one idolized sentence I say every chance I get. I lost my friends today, both VW and LR. They shot the messager. Twice. 1,2. So many people depend on me to solve their problems. And this time I think everyone's taking it a little too far. Perfect Sonnet is how I feel right now

Don't you ever get that really stingy feeling when you hear people say they love music. Only because you know they only take interest in mainstream and won't understand any deeper. Still, have you ever experienced that feeling? It really bothers me, like to a far extent. LAWL. I guess thats why I listen to it, because it syas all of the things you wish you could say but can't. Or when you don't have the strenght to explain yourself, blasting that one song makes you feel nice. A burry nice. When you blast Seventy times 7 doesn't it make you want to break down and scream for you life. Everyone gets that feling. who doesn't want to scream thaqt song in someones face. I know, because I've done it. Bahaha anyway I'll post later