an interesting last week.... it's been school holidays so just been bumming round a bit. i normally think of school holidays as a brake from school and friends and stuff but friends stilll bug me a bit. wanna do this wanna do that.... Na i think i'll just stay home today is not an a appropriate excuse so i either go( good mood) or make up a lame excuse(not so crash hot mood). but they've been alright. i went opn holiday to shearwater last saturday with my family. not a very eventful holiday or relaxing kinda sucked for holidays really. we should of just gone to sisters, where our shack is. so relaxing there, would of been cold but oh well at least i'd be happy. last night i went for a sleepover with a couple of friends, their like best friends and i was a bit the odd one out well at least that's what i thought i would be but na it was actually good... not much sleep tho, which is expected. funny, that night i was lonely and bored (at one time)so i decided i'd plan the next day. well, i decided at 3 am that i was gunna catch a bus to scummerset(somerset) and walk 3 k uphill to get to rikki's house. well i'm just an awesome little planner aren't i. at 3pm that day i found myself walking up that hill in the rain (not really heavy rain but enough to get me soaked!) well i trudged up that hill for half an hour and wandered to the door soaked and what do i get??? a towel and a boyfriend that won't even give me a cuddle the whole time i was there.... not till the end when i had to say good bye... i had 5 hours sleep that night and had walked up that hill just to see him on our 6 month anniversary and i wanted cuddles and kisses and someone to thank me but i got bugger all? he's not normally like that but still... made me sad.... well mum picked me up from there to take me to basketball training... i wasn't in a good mood and had a head-ache but i somehow got through that 2 hours but i'm buggered! got home and typed all this all this i know that's a whole lot of complaining but some of that's not right.... : ( not cool JEM

my last entry's kinda funny now...... i think i over-reacted a tiny bit. i still don't like her but i understand her more now. she's actually in grade 9 but is still a slut. her skirt is so short! like 5cm below her ass. scary, but she got 5th in cross country. so her smoking hasn't been real bad. she talked to me too... weird and doesn't stare me down anymore! yay well enough about her.... nothing about my life is real good at the moment..... i'm tired all the time, and get sad real easy. i'm kinda all over the place. there's only one thing that keeps me together really, my boyfriend. sad i'm only 14 but i depend on him alot, to much but as long as he doesn't leave me i'll be ok.... i hope. not that he respects me alot. i'm not much of a person anymore. i used to be, but everythings starting to get at me. Like mum is kind of an drunk..... even infront of my Rikki. it's shitful. seriously embarrasing but he undrstands. his family isn't exactly picturesque. well as far as i've heard it's not. bumma hmmm.... can't be bothered typing anymore.... good night ..

you know the trouble with having a good looking boyfriend is that your not the only one who thinks their good looking. kinda sucks coz i'm just like f#ck of his mine! not really but that's what's going through my mind..... i went so spaz at him once coz he gave out his number to a grade 7(i'm grade 8, so's he) and she like smokes when she's only grade 7 and stuff... kinda sad not that i can judge her from that but it's not a good thing and well apparently she has like a crush on him or somethin and he gave her his number! i went so spazz haha lol kinda funny now. i'm like kinda protective or somethin i dunno but it sucks. well yeah, nothin much else happenin : )

Thankyou TriggerHappyJim for making me smile more than once today. i read all your journals(no i'm not stalking you) and there pretty good even if you are a bit of an anti emo alcoholic.... Why can't people forgive anymore! why god why can't you just GET OVER IT! instead of thinking about it SO much that you work yourself into a state of hating that person....... and yes the people u trust enough to talk about it to do get sick of hearing it after a couple of years! I'm not gunna say something cheesy like forgive and forget but GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!! your pissing me off! now...... well... i've let out my angry for today bye bye : P