a single mistake, from anyone, will send your quietude to an unbearable preoccupation with the situations that worry you. Time will pass, and you mind will be set on the same “complication”. This complication may not be of worry to your “friends”, to your family, or to anyone who has the claim of care to you. Your problems are only yours, and there is no one there that will comprehend the language of your mind. Your concentration is in your mind, the place in where you are the only person allowed. One word. Two words. Three words. Making a pretty sentence. But, what our worrisome minds talk about, are those easy words that do not some out of our mouths, but of our “friends”; and we begin to wonder, and think, and create a whole new reality of “what if”, and we begin obsession. You sit. You stand. You breathe. In. out. And the people see you. You’re just looking fine. You're an average person. You’re breathing. You’re moving. You’re blinking. You’re just fine in appearance. But, what about inside? A clutter..a fucking mess. But, who knows? Who cares? Now, those everyday thoughts begin to combine with self distruction. Self distruction. In every possible way. But no one knows, because no one can see it in us. “how”, “when”, “how about now”. And then, “what if”. And we cannot continue with these self distruction plans, for we worry about people “A”. people “a”. they wouldn’t understand this all. This is too complicated for them. And if at any chance, this complication (or any other complication) enters their mind, their brains will blow to hell. They cannot bear the feeling of people “X”. people “X”. WE are people “X”. we are the others. The ones who are put aside, out of our complications. They are thought to be the closest things to “perfection”. But, their thoughts never reach past common. Never reach past the second stage. And will never, distort into our reality. People “A” will be watching, and saying nonsense about this. People “A” don’t believe in such things. They don’t believe in complications. “There is no such thing”. What can we do about this? When people “A” are the ones who claim that they hold the way to a cure? It’s the same as asking,”How can a person who never experienced driving, teach us how to drive a car?” Our thoughts will be are along with reality, and the distortion around it. This world was created as a perfect one, but we destroyed it. We wiped off the true gleam the sky had. We discolored the flowers. True beauty was murdered. Nothing is clear in our minds anymore. Take a look inside, and we will find static, the reflecting sound of everything. It’s simple, for us to stay okay, when we’re alone, with no contact with anyone else. No pressure. No criticism. Just you and your thoughts. But, when the ones who do not understand that you are one of the “X” people, they carelessly say the things that might have no absolute effect in “A”. but, they don’t know. And they never will comprehend it. And then, you begin. You begin with the complicated thoughts. And your mind will suffer in those times, the things that are destroying everything.

there's something each of us need. for some people, it's different from others. some people need a good song, others a good movie, some other people need a time to take photographs... but no one is the same. feeling left out in the world, by being around all these people who have such different tastes... i am all alone. i would so much love to start a band! but who is there to play with me? no one like good music anymore, so why would they play with someone of my music preference? what have we all come to?

she had only said "we are going to florida" i imagined the tiny humid hotel rooms, hot sun, and ugly view to the highway that we would usually get on these 'work travels' we got there at 1, and a roaring sound came from the outside, made me wonder... we arrived, to an unusual hotel. it had 15 stories, a large fountain, and there was a young lady waiting for us there. "welcome" she said in a quite happy tone for being 1 AM. "we will take your luggage, and this is valet parking, so no need to worry about your car" this was amazing, i had never seen such service ANYWHERE i had ever been... mum registered, while i waited at the side. i observed the expensive light fixtures, the smiling, well dressed employees, and the wealthy guests. i pressed '5' in the elevator, and up it went at a pleasant speed. as it opened, and all i saw, i was happy with. turning right, two doors down was our room 255 the card slid in smoothly, and the door opened elegantly. walking in through the darkness of night, it was still not hard to realize, that there was an endless sea view through our room window. "first things first," i thought, and headed directly to the bathroom, expecting a small, humid, claustrophobic, colorless, & cold bathroom with a slightly stained toilet, but as i walked in, all i could see was a brightly stripe wallpapered, large, clean, and cozy looking restroom. it passed the first test, but what about the shower? would it be like all the other ones? either the shower being a piercing shooting water? or would it be a tiny mist that could not get you clean? but, the shower passed the test. with the movable shower head, with great water temperature, and absolutely nothing that looked gross, there was nothing bad left to expect... other than the vapor left in there after taking a hot shower, right? wrong. there was no sense of humidity left in there. waking up to the sounds of the beach... what more could we ask for?