lisaxletdown's Journal
- 5 Entries
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Lifeeeee
by lisaxletdown on November 04, 2008No CommentsI can't listen to anything right now. Everything reminds me of her. All of her pores, her strands of hair, the spokes of her green eyes in the dim room light.
I want to fix things.
I want to fix everything.
Most of all, I want to forget. I want to sleep.How did this night come to be? Well...lets go back.
I remember going to my new school, and meeting this amazing fucking girl. Then a few weeks later, we were together. I was so happy. It was the twenty-first of August. We then split up, which you read in my earlier journals, if you've been reading at all. And so it was my birthday on the Thirtieth of October, talk about waking me up when september ends huh? Which I fucking hate Green Day btw.
Anyways...So this weekend, she kinda just got drunk, and we kissed, and I KNEW I shouldn't have fucking tooken it as something of meaning to her. Does she even mean it though? I'm tired of her saying no one cares for her. I'm tired of standing there, RIGHT FUCKING THERE, in front of her, and feeling so dismantled, and for her to just look past me.And now she's dissappointed in ME? What the fuck did I do?
No wait, that's right, I'm an idiot, and I ruin everything.
In other news..about the step dad situation. He was kicked, he came back, and then HE LEFT to be with some other chick. Big surprise huh?Not really.
He sucks at everything he's ever even said he's accomplished. -
A lot has happened..
by lisaxletdown on October 25, 2008Since last entry. This girl kinda has me in knots, and my step dad has left my mom, once again. I'm sitting around just listening to Tool, I've missed them. I have the sense that things are going downhill, but in the end, I'll be okay. Even though I'm probably going to change my mind within the next few weeks. So more about this girl. We had went out[yeah I'm a lesbian] and then we broke up because she was "depressed". If she was depressed, she wouldn't have gone back out with Ethan a week later, right? I don't know what to make of it. Me and her are okay though. She's at work right now, and when she gets back online, I have to do the asshole thing, and bring up the question of how she actually feels about me. Tool works wonders, and I don't remember ever feeling so...subtle? in my life. Like maybe I'm about to implode, but I don't see how it'll come to it. As I said before, I'm okay. But will I stay like this? Who knows, maybe it'll last a while, or maybe I will implode all together. My birthday is in five days, lets see what it brings.No Comments -
Sept. 21st. 2008
by lisaxletdown on September 21, 2008Soo.. It's been a month since the day that I was entirely happy. Like, nothing could bring me down. How did this day come to be? So I'm cramping up, and my step dad is watching the kids. I've recently started listening to Thursday again. I haven't heard them since Eighth grade. Speaking of eighth grade, Someone from my past came back up today. I don't know what to make of it yet. My stomach hurts so bad:/ I probably have to take a shit. Oh well. "When you say my name, I wanna stop it in your lungs, and collect all of your blood." Signals Over the Air - Thursday.No Comments -
Life:/
by lisaxletdown on September 19, 2008Wow..first journal entry. So it's Sept. 19 2008 My step dad is being kicked out for cheating and idk. Every thing is going to change.No Comments
1
and.
They're weak.
I hate them.