Went to bed last night and right when I pull the blankets over myself, my eyes started to water and I had this totally helpless feeling. I was restless for a while, then I calmed down and rediscovered Broken Social Scene. This is strange because my emotions NEVER get externalized that intensely to the point where I'm starting to cry. Don't even think I was tipped off by anything. We were at a basketball game tonight and I had to play with the jazz band. Some guy started texting to some girl that's apparently gorgeous, except he claimed that it was me sending them. It wouldn't be embarassing, except for the fact that I wasn't carrying myself all to well tonight. Low energy=more depressing look than usual. I wonder what she thought about that? Feel Good Lost is an incredible album by BSS. Not like their more popular stuff, but I can appreciate it. My computer's back from having a virus now. Yippee

Had peer counseling today. None of the guys I had to see had much to say. They're pretty cool. Before I went, though, I felt insanely bad about something. It was the strangest thing. I wasn't talking with a loud voice and my eyes were sadder than normal. Oh that depression. I have not seen Valerie in the absolute longest time, which sucks to all hell. Haven't spoken to Hedieh, either. Things are sad and slow and the only songs that I can make up in my head are slow ones, the guitars are soft and quiet and playing on one string, the drums play quietly but more than just marking a beat, the bass plays similiar to the drums but more sinister, and the voice keeps droning, always about walking in the dark, not being able to see where his feet go. My finals are alright. I really want to learn how to play guitar now. I'm smart enough and know enough music to be able to learn by myself. I can play saxaphones right now, but you can sing while you're playing a guitar. I'm going to play tennis, because no one really takes it seriously. I need more hobbies. I got a D on my Film Studies movie because I couldn't prove I did anything. That's all.

Walk for Life was cool, even if Nathan didn't go. My group was fun. I missed his suprise birhday, too. Oh well. He called when I got home and it sounded like he was having fun. Stuff I should've take pictures of: -A girl marching with us was carrying a sign that said "Atheist 4 Life". -A bunch of uber-goths with a sign with a Johnny Cash quote that said "I wear the black in mourning for the lives that could've been." -Some pro-choicers threw a condom right at a girl that was marching too close to them. -There was this awesome as hell drummer and some bagpiper playing together. -The pro-choice guys had a cool brass band, too -There was this giant sign that said "Get the fuck out!" -One of the girls in my group tried to take a picture of one of those guys that stand completely still but then they move like robots, but he covered his face -We also went to In-n-Out for food and I got few more stickers to put on my wallet, which looks cool now Not much else to say. I did pretty well on my finals and I currently have a 4.24, lower than before, though. I'm pretty nervous right now, no reason. How come my journal is never the latest journal anymore?

I have noticed something that isn't too good. I have been saying to myself "I am a terrible person" and other versions of that a lot. I don't mean when I'm just alone at night and thinking too hard. It has become where I could be walking right next to someone and I just think it to myself. It has become automatic and WAY to often. Maybe I is... On the bright side: Me: Hey! You know what's an amazing song? Friend: What, Mario? Me: "Swimmers" by Broken Social Scene! At this point, Friend breaks out in song and I join in. It was quite enjoyable because we really didn't try singing well. We drew a few confused looks. Going to the Walk 4 Life this weekend. It'll be my third year in a row doing it. A lot of the Confirmation kids I help out with are going this year. It's not that much of a fun thing. Four hour walks usually aren't. If you got someone you actually like with you, though, it gets way easier.

My name is Mario. I have a crush whose name is Valerie. I have a girl crushing over me named Hedieh. My best and only good friend's name is Nathan and his girlfriend's name is Jessica. My older sister's name is Marilyn. That's all for names. I am a fairly melancholy guy. I have a mostly nice view of the world, but I don't allow myself to think highly at ALL of me, even if I deserve just a little bit of praise. The music I like will NEVER get an ounce of U.S. airplay, with a few exceptions. I have no reason to be depressed, but I feel that way. Because I have nothing else to say right now, I'm just going to list a few of the bands I spaz over. Interpol (Turn on the Bright Lights=my favorite album) Asobi Seksu Beirut Broken Social Scene Snowden Stars The Killers The Flaming Lips The Twilight Sad (Fourteen Autumns and Fifteen Winters=second favorite album)